Laugh Now Alligator
by TheLovelyJudy
Summary: She couldn't move, the sound of his footsteps on the clean floor of the kitchen made her feel nauseas with terror. She was trembling from head to toe, her eyes prickled with tears and a whimper died in her throat. he was a thousand feet tall in her mind and cast a shadow darker than a star-less midnight.She was so…scared of him. Alex/OC {Non-Con, Abuse, and other Dark Themes}
1. Laugh Now Alligator

**Laugh Now Alligator**

Summary: The tragic story of a Lamb who found herself trapped in the Lion's den, with no way out. Very Dark. Alex/OC Warnings Inside

Genre: Crime/Drama/Horror

Warning: Strong Graphic Scenes of Non-Con, Frequently Mentioned Rape Scenes, Abuse, Violence, and Future Drug Use.

This is NOT **Sunshine!Butterflies!Alex**this is **Sociopathic!Dark!Alex**

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_**1. Like a Broken Record**_

Broken sundown motherless showdown  
Gun hip swollen lip bottle sip yeah I suck dick  
Lose grip on gravity falls sky blinding crumbling walls

River sweep away my memories of  
Children's things a young mother's love  
Before the yearning song of flesh on flesh  
Young hearts burst open wounds bleed fresh

But loveless bedrooms filled with doom  
Bring silent heartache July to June  
Woon over new young hot flame  
Mourn the memories later  
Laugh now alligator

I don't mean to close the door  
But for the record my heart is sore  
You blew through me like bullet holes  
Left stains on my sheets and stains  
On my soul

I had dreams that brings me sadness  
Pain much deep that a river  
Sorrow flow through me in tiny waves of shivers  
Corny movies make me reminisce  
Breat me down easy on this generic love shit  
First kiss frog and princess

**~Werewolf; Cocorosie**

He awoke before she did, and he looked down at her with a mean spirited smirk on his face. The poor, poor little devotchka. Her lips were parted just slightly, dry blood on her lips from when she'd bit down on herself to keep from screaming too loud, her temples still damp with tears and her eyelashes wet with rain drops from a violent storm. He couldn't stop thinking about it, nor did he want to.

The way she fought and pleaded and even begged at one point, the way she wailed as he viciously tore her innocence from her, his lips crushing hers and swallowing the sound of physical and emotional agony, breathing in her pain. The way she clawed at him and writhed, the way he squeezed her and bit her and raked his teeth across her soft skin, the way he pounded into her not giving a damn if he was hurting her. The way she passed out from the pain half way through the fourth round.

She was waking up now, her brows knitting as the ache in her body started sinking in. She moaned softly, and started to whimper like a scared puppy. She woke up all the way now and began to tremble when she felt him press his body against hers, rolling his hips against hers just to scare her. "No" she cried, her voice hoarse and broken, he kissed her forehead.

"Now, you're not going to utter a slovo about our eegryas to my gloopy parents…are you?" again she whimpered and tried to pull away, wanting so badly to get away from him. He grabbed her jaw suddenly in a bruising grip, her jaw still hurt from when he…_oh Jesus_. "I didn't slooshy you little sister, what do you say?" he growled in a low, gravelly voice. This was the voice that made her feel as if she'd wet herself from fear, the voice that snuck into her beautiful dreams and twisted them into nightmares.

"I w-won't say a word, I promise Alex…I promise" she cried, gripping his thick wrist with her small hand and whimpering loudly when his grip only tightened. He let go of her jaw but she barely had time to register it when the same hand was crushing her throat, pinning her down to the bed. He tore the sheets away and dropped his body on top of hers, and she couldn't breathe much less scream out. He tangled his fingers into her violet red curls, so tightly that it brought fresh tears to her eyes.

When he started to wedge his knee between her legs, she pushed at him with a strangled pleading sob. He let go of her throat and raked his teeth across the skin, breaking the skin again and relishing in the taste of her innocence filling his mouth. His hand covered her mouth, as he trailed harsh biting kisses down between her breasts, to her navel and finally stopping at her mound, he snarled in pleasure when he saw his semen and her blood still staining her bruised and battered womanhood, yes…he had deflowered her. She was sobbing, too exhausted and afraid to fight back with the vigor she'd once fought with. She looked at him with pleading eyes, and he rubbed her down there.

"Breakfast is ready!"

Damn it. Alex climbed off of her, "Get out you malenky little whore, before they come up and see you in like your baddiwad brother's bed, right right?" he growled, daring her to defy him in anyway. But she wasn't going to, she wanted to get off of that bed and away from him as fast as possible. To her humiliation though, she could barely walk. Each step sent ripples of agony through her body, while he watched her with a cruel smirk on his face. He hadn't been gentle and she hadn't been aroused. Her legs were shaking and she collapsed onto the floor with a sharp cry.

"A-Alex…" she whimpered, begging him to take it all back. "Go ahead, _crawl_" with a defeated and heartbroken whisper of a sob, she obeyed him and crawled to her own room. She pulled herself into her own bed and wrapped herself tightly in her bed sheets. The teddy bear her mother had given her for her third birthday smiled sadly at her.

Eloise hugged the bear to her, and he smelt like her mother. "Mama…mama please…_please_" she sobbed, hugging the stuffed toy as if her mother's spirit lingered in him, She hadn't called her mother "mama" since she was nine years old. She wanted nothing more than be back in her Fairy tale cottage with her mother, reading stories by their fire place and dancing to Frank Sinatra in the living room after she'd come home with a perfect report card from school.

She missed her mother so much, she even missed her yelling at her…she missed their fights as much as she missed their happy moments; the Burgesses were good and kind people—especially Sheila Burgess—but there was a poisonous snake lurking in the sweet minty grass. Sheila knocked softly on her door, "Breakfast is ready, dear" she said happily. "Oh um…I-I'm sorry…I'm not feeling good this morning, I have some pain my stomach"

"You poor dear, let me help you"

"NO!...I-I mean that's not necessary, I'll be fine…thank you so much"

"Alright then, well…if you need anything, you just call alright?"

"I will, I promise."

Eloise waited until her footsteps receded and disappeared, and resumed burying her face in the belly of a lost childhood. There were shadows crawling inside of her, tainting her once rose colored view of the world and turning it black. His cum burned her, it literally burned her like acid. She was thankful, more than she'd ever been in her entire life, for the private bathroom she had.

But to her distress, not even three bottles of body wash and boiling hot water…no amount of scratching and scraping at her own skin until it split under her nails could remove the layer of filth and shame that clung to her skin. She rubbed her skin raw, rubbed until she was sobbing and hissing in pain.

_I'm so dirty_

She recalled discussing rape back in the 6th grade during their talk about puberty and all that, the lady had told them it was important for victims to report the crime. Eloise and many other girls didn't fully comprehend the horrors of sexual assault and abuse, they only understood that it meant to _hurt _somebody, now Eloise was aware that she really should report him but…no.

She just _couldn't._

With deep shuddery breaths she lifted herself from the tub and dried herself with a soft fluffy towel, dressing up in sweat pants and a blue tee shirt, with shaky fingers she pushed open her door and made her way to his bedroom again, he was fully dressed as well. "Do you…want me to go downstairs with you?" she asked timidly, "Yes little bird…come along"

Her body stiffened as his hand touched the small of her back, guiding her down the hallway and then down the stairs. Eloise wanted to _scream_. "Oh sweetheart, you're feeling better" Mrs. Burgess chirped happily, taking out a new plate from the pantry. "Sit down, dearie, have some breakfast" the breakfast this morning was pancakes, blueberry muffins, and sausage.

_Breakfast at the fairytale cottage was always waffles topped with strawberries and whip cream, her favorite. A book propped open against the fruit bowl and her mother packing her lunch for school, the sound of Diana Ross & the Supremes' crooning hit tunes on their radio._

Alex sat down next to her, after kissing his mother on the cheek, and started talking with his father about his work. Playing his role as the perfect, good hearted son who was never _ever_ disrespectful to his elders; it made her sick to know how he talked about them behind their back. But at the same time, Eloise was filled with a terrible anger and hatred towards them.

_Why couldn't they see?_

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Her only escape was school, Alex was twenty three years old and was working at Melodia. He worked almost the entire the day, only coming home sometime around four or five o clock. Eloise got home at two thirty, and she relished the brief time she had to feel a little bit safe. And now, on her way to said school she thanked God that he had not left too much evidence on her face or anywhere it would be obvious, as long as nobody could see…then it was like it never happened, right?

_Was it my fault?_

She chose to walk, as painful as it was it was a lot less painful than riding her bicycle. For some reason not being able to do this hurt her deeply, she loved riding her bike to school; the wind blowing through her hair and the sun shining on her. Alex just kept on ruining everything, didn't he?

Her small group of friends waved enthuastically at her, and she forced herself to smile happily at them. If they only knew how disgusting and filthy she was, something in her wanted to scream out when they hugged her. She didn't deserve that, didn't deserve love or compassion. She was lower than dirt. It was at this moment that she knew she had to push them away, they would hate her if they knew…if they knew how filthy she was. That word kept repeating like a broken record inside of her head.

_Filthy, Filthy, Filthy, Filthy…_

But she had to do it gradually, otherwise they'd suspect something was wrong. And absolutely nothing was wrong, everything was perfectly wonderful, no…no she was not falling apart, no she did not want to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out…no she did not want to tell her best friend Katie everything and have Katie hold her close and say everything was going to be alright.

Eloise was **fine**.

_I can't breathe. It hurts. It hurts so badly._

The day dragged on, Eloise worked on autopilot; writing down notes that she didn't comprehend or care about, there seemed to be no point and all she could think about was—No. Push it away, just push it away and don't think about it. She counted the tiles on the floor, recited the names of the seven dwarfs. But it kept sneaking its way into her mind. She looked down briefly at her wrists, ringed with dark purple bruises and swallowed a whimper thickly.

_Is he going to do it again?_

Behind hooded eyes, Eloise remembered: She'd only been sixteen for two weeks when her mother died, it was still hard to believe that someone so strong could be taken away by a car crash. Her mother was always smiling, even when they fell on hard times. She filled Eloise's life with music, laughter, and love. They got into messy fights as all mothers and daughters do, but they were close and they were each other's rocks in the raging sea around them.

Her mother was an orphan, abandoned by her mother and her father nameless. The only Aunts and Uncles that Eloise knew were her mother's close friends who'd been there to watch her grow up. She knew she could have gone to live with anybody, but she chose Sheila and Nathan because they'd always been so nice to her and they lived in London too.

It was her home, and she didn't want to leave it ever. She knew for a long time that they'd had a son, but never really thought about him. Her mother's fairytale esque cottage was almost three hours from the Burgess home and when Sheila and Nathan did come over for a visit or a party, Alex was never with them. Sheila would absolutely brag about how much a wonderful boy he was though.

Eloise had been smitten with him the first time she saw him, he was absolutely gorgeous. And his older age only added to the appeal, he was a handsome _mature_ man, how exciting! Young Eloise's mind ran wild with thoughts of him being her a boyfriend, how great would that be? The girls at school would just go wild to see her with a gorgeous mature man on her arm.

Now school had ended and she was making her to the front door of her new home, a note on the counter in the kitchen told her that Mr. & Mrs. Burgess were to be out for the entire night. Her heart stuttered and she tried to stay calm, Alex wouldn't be home for another hour or so. Maybe she could leave, yes…she'd go somewhere else…a friend's house…

The door opened and closed with a sharp sound

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_**Please Review**_


	2. Flowers In the Water

Laugh Now Alligator

Summary: The tragic story of a Lamb who found herself trapped in the Lion's den, with no way out. Very Dark. Alex/OC Warnings Inside

Genre: Crime/Drama/Horror

Warning: Strong Graphic Scenes of Non-Con, Frequently Mentioned Rape Scenes, Abuse, Violence, and Future Drug Use.

_**Thank You DemonBarber14 and SkyCord1990 **_

_-AN: I wrote the first chapter of this at school; while I was supposed to be taking notes on financial literacy crap. Shhhh, don't tell. I wrote this second chapter in the last half hour, I know it's weird to put it up so quickly but meh…I'm just a bad bitch like that (not really, no)—**love, Corina**_

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**2. Flowers in the Water**

The fear spread rapidly through her bones, turning them into lead. She couldn't move, the sound of his footsteps on the clean floor of the kitchen made her feel nauseas with terror. She was trembling from head to toe, her eyes prickled with tears and a whimper died in her throat. His arms wrapped around her waist, "We're on our oddy knocky this nochy, how horrorshow; right right?"

Her voice was like dry, dead leaves "Right Right" barely there but enough for him. She went rigid when he started kissing her shoulder and neck, he was a thousand feet tall in her mind and cast a shadow darker than a star-less midnight. She was so…_scared_ of him. "A-Alex…please…" his fingernails started digging into her skin, his teeth raking against her throat

He growled low in his throat, biting particularly hard on her flesh now and forcing her face down on the couch. Her scream was muffled, and curse heaven and hell—her uniform included a skirt, a fucking skirt. She sobbed in revulsion as his hands greedily slid under her pleated skirt, squeezing and slapping the cotton covered flesh. He kept on touching her, running his horrible hands so roughly that each touch seemed to leave a new bruise in its wake.

As he pressed his erection against her backside, she _remembered_: She'd been staying there for a month, and during that time he'd been a perfect gentleman—pulling the chair out for her during meals and inquiring about school, she felt comfortable and safe around him. And then one day he proposed a game of truth and dare, she chose dare.

Alex had smirked and said; "I dare you to kiss ol' Uncle Alex". Eloise's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, she actually really wanted to kiss him but… "I've never kissed anyone before" she admitted in a soft voice, looking to him with worried eyes. "A dare's a dare, dear Ellie-Girl, is it not?" was all he said. She made her way to him and gingerly put her hands on his broad shoulders, she had to stand on her tip-toes. She pressed her lips against his chastely, the skin just barely touching.

A soft squeak escaped her lips when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his strong, lean body. He deepened the kiss, and she squeaked as his hands gripped her backside lifting her up. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. This was amazing; she never wanted to stop kissing him. He felt so good, there were no words to describe it.

His hands ran up and down her back. Her soft breasts pressed against his chest in a thrilling way and made her feel absolutely and deliciously naughty. And yet despite all of this the idea of sex didn't really cross her mind, all she could concentrate on was the greatness of her very first kiss with a gorgeous, strong, amazing older man.

Alex gently put her down and kissed her forehead, they parted ways. The kissing sessions continued for three more weeks, but he never pressured her into something she didn't want to do. He was always so gentle, so sweet with her. And then three weeks into this, he came home with a girl around his age. He introduced her as his date, and when she left he confronted an obviously hurt Eloise.

"You're only a baby in society's glazzies, my little angel, we can't be together" Eloise knew he was right, but it still hurt to see him kissing and smiling at another girl. "She's very pretty" she said in a sad, dull voice. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder. "Comparing her to you is like comparing dandelions to roses, my pet" Eloise blushed and leaned back into him. "I'll be eighteen in two years…it seems so far away" he didn't say anything, merely kissed her shoulder again.

"I love you, little Ellie"

_Now_, as he inflicted this horror on her, she sobbed in pain into the arm of the couch; and she could feel herself dying. There was no other way to describe it, she was literally dying from the inside out. She could tell he was getting close to finishing and as his fingernails dug into her hips she realized that he wasn't going to pull out. She sobbed in a heartbroken way as his semen filled her, burning her insides like a horrible disease. "Real, real horrorshow little sister" he taunted.

Eloise moved to stand up but he held on tightly, "Who said we were finished fillying?"

After Alex told her that he loved her, Eloise had kissed him passionately. "I love you too Alex, I love so much!" she was frustrated at a society that would see their relationship as taboo; they loved each other—why did age matter so much? She wasn't a baby, she was practically an adult. But she knew they had to wait, "When I'm eighteen" she said, trailing off and looking up into his angelic face with misty eyes. She could see even then the devilish gleam in his eyes, but it was sexy at that time…not scary.

By the end of her second month in the Burgess home, Eloise brought home a date of her own. A boy from her school, she figured it would be best if she explored as well. It wasn't her intention to make Alex jealous or anything, if he could date girls why couldn't she date boys? She didn't think it was that big of deal. But when Tommy left, Alex asked her in a gentlemanly tone to please itty up to his room after dinner. The poor girl didn't see the dark shadows in his blue eyes, didn't realize the horrors he was planning on inflicting on her; horrors that he'd been plotting since he laid eyes on her.

Alex stole her innocence that night, while she screamed and begged him not to. "I won't tell anybody, I swear, please let me go…this isn't funny anymore Alex, please"

_He said he loved me…he promised he'd never let anyone hurt me…_

"Alex! No, No, No! Stop it…stop it! NO!"

Finally it over, he got off of her and went into his own bedroom. Eloise laid like a broken doll on the couch. Her body covered in sweat, blood, bruises, bite marks, scratches, and semen. Her body covered in shame, filth, and agony. She could barely breathe, the air tasted tainted and chemical. She managed to turn onto her side with a soft whine of discomfort; the knitted blanket was pulled down to cover herself; "Mama…mama please…take me away from here"

In the dark silence, Eloise was forced to admit to herself—I was raped. She opened her lips, and it had a strange rusty feel to it; like she hadn't used her mouth in centuries. Her voice was barely a whisper; "Alex raped me…Alex raped me…Alex raped me" her eyes filled with tears, which rolled heavily down her face. There was a huge lump in her throat, she was shaking.

_He said he loved me…he promised he'd never let anyone hurt me…_

She knew better than to fall asleep on the couch, so she slowly made her to her bedroom and buried herself under the covers. Eloise had always been a happy-go-lucky person, but now she wanted nothing more than to die. _Please God, just kill me…kill me...kill me…_

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I'm holding out on the initial rape; Alex stole her virginity and Eloise simply isn't ready to let herself remember the event in full. She only allows herself to remember the events leading up to it; it's almost as if she believes that if she doesn't think about it—it never happened.

Jeez, don't you just want to punch Alex in the face? I know I do. As much as I would love for her to go Charlie's Angels on his ass; I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible. Rape is not something you just get over, it's going to take a very long time. It's going to be messy, heartbreaking, and down-right frustrating at times dear readers. Eloise does have strength inside of her, she just doesn't realize it.

Feel free to ask any questions

**Please Review :D **


	3. Like Bullet Holes

**Laugh Now Alligator**

Summary: The tragic story of a Lamb who found herself trapped in the Lion's den, with no way out. Very Dark. Alex/OC Warnings Inside

Genre: Crime/Drama/Horror

Warning: Strong Graphic Scenes of Non-Con, Abuse, Violence, and future drug use, self-harm.

Thank You **SkyCord1990**

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**3. Like Bullet Holes **

"_When the snow melts, what does it turn into?" Mrs. Hervinshire asked the collection of second graders, sitting Indian style on the colorful but scratchy carpet. They all said in unison; "Water" but a tiny hand went up with the confidence only a small child possessed. "Yes, Eloise?" "My mama says that it turns into spring time" Some disagreed with her, but it didn't matter to little Eloise. Her mama was always right, she was the smartest person in the world, and she knew absolutely everything._

_Life would always be strawberry waffles and Frank Sinatra and fawning over Rhett Butler in a half serious, half joking manner. Life would always be too much fudge on Christmas Eve, random fights over trivial things, random dance parties in the kitchen…her mother was going to live __forever__._

_She died._

Eloise woke up in a cold sweat, her throat constricted with a silent scream. Three weeks, since the second rape had occurred. She should have been happy, relieved but she was only on edge. She jumped in terror at the slightest things, she couldn't sleep, she was too afraid to close her eyes. Alex was giving no signs of an impending attack. Maybe, he was bored of it all? Maybe she was safe now?

But the lack of sexual abuse only made way for emotional torture, Alex started to bully her constantly. Destroying her beloved Judy Garland albums (most of them given to her by her mother) and pouring water, soda-pop, whatever; onto her art pieces, pieces that had won student contests and teacher praise. Alex dominated every aspect of her life. He even started picking her up at school, and it amazed her that he went out of his way (cutting back on his hours of work) just to torment her.

_Does he really hate me that much?_

Eloise hated being in the car with him, the twenty minute ride home seemed like a thousand years and often times they didn't even go straight home. He took her to the Korova Milkbar and forced her to drink drug laced milk, it tasted awful but she was too scared to say no to him. And then one day all hell, or at least more than usual, broke loose.

In her Chemistry class, Eloise was given a project over the weekend. Her partner was a boy named Carson, he was a nice person and he was good at the subject so she initially happy to be his partner. When she saw Alex's car pull up, she started walking fast to it but a hand grabbed her arm; not roughly mind you but still, Eloise barely shut down the cry of fear that almost burst forth.

"Hey, are you alright? Didn't mean to scare you, I was just wondering if I could borrow your notes…for the essay we're supposed to do" Half way through class, Carson had been called down to the Counselor's office and had been gone for a significant amount of time. "Oh sure, here you go" Eloise was trying to hurry, she handed over her perfectly organized notes to him and bid him farewell.

When she climbed into the passenger side of the car, she tried to explain before he got the wrong idea. "H-He's from my science class…we're doing a project together, b-but he got called down to speak to a counselor during class and missed a lot of the l-lecture so he was just a-asking to borrow my n-notes"

Alex wasn't even looking at her, it was as if she wasn't even there. His hands weren't even gripping the wheel in anger, Eloise opened her to mouth to say something but no sound came out.

"How long?" He suddenly said, his voice even and calm. Eloise didn't say anything, his arm struck out violently; the strong forearm slamming into her throat so fast and so violently it brought tears to her eyes and pushed out a choked scream of pain. "How long has thou been sodding that malenky fucker?! How long have you been spreading your legs, you Grazhny whore? Answer me!"

Eloise sobbed and trembled under the weight of his anger, his accusatory tone and biting words hurt her. "I haven't!" she cried, her voice pleading with him to see reason. The car stopped abruptly, they were on a lonely road surrounded by woods. "Get out of the car, now" Eloise didn't need to be told twice, she got out and waited for his next orders. Hugging herself tightly.

Alex smirked at her whimpers as he grabbed her forearm in his bruising grip, pulling her into the woods. She tripped over an exposed root, and since Alex's grip was so strong Eloise ended up dislocating her shoulder blade, the force of the fall contradicting the force that should have kept her upright; Alex wasn't holding onto her arm to keep her upright. Her scream of pain was lost in the sea of amber trees. He threw her onto the ground, she could feel rocks and branches and other things digging into her back.

With the passiveness of an executioner, he popped her shoulder back into place. And smiled wickedly when she arched her back and screamed at the pain; he ripped away her skirt and Eloise prepared herself for a third rape. She stared straight up at the tree tops and the light blue sky, she was nothing. She squeezed her eyes shut when she felt him wrench her legs open, but so far…nothing.

"Keep your legs open, Ellie-Girl"

His face was suddenly there, between her legs. He was staring at her flesh, and with a jolt she realized he was _inspecting_ her. He used his fingers to pull apart her folds, and she released a sob of humiliation when he pressed his nose into her and inhaled deeply. "You passed this time. We're doing this every nochy, you gloopy bitch. You will be spread out on my bed by the time I get domy or else. Do you pony?"

"Y-Yes Alex"

He smiled at her and helped her up onto her feet, wrapping his arm around her shoulder in a protective type of manner. "Let us itty on home, shall we? There's a good girl, yes" Alex smoothed her hair and before they reached home; he bought her a chocolate shake. Eloise knew what he was doing, and she knew that a fucking ice cream shake could not erase even a moment of the abuse he'd been inflicting on her. But it was a lot better than said abuse, and she wondered why he couldn't be like that all the time.

She resolved to herself, that maybe if she just did everything he told her to (regardless of how miserable it made her) then maybe he would stop being so mean. He told her he loved her, and she'd brought home a boy—it must have hurt him so badly (she ignored the voice in her head that reminded her that he had brought home a girl too) he was right about everything. It was her fault, completely her fault.

_I don't know what to do…help me, someone please…_

Two days after the first inspection, Eloise made the very first cut into her skin; shallow and hesitant but enough to draw out a bead of blood. She watched as ghosts danced out of her filthy, disgusting flesh and for once in a long time felt at peace. But then it was gone, so she did it again; deeper.

Again and again and again…

"_Could thou itty up to your beloved Alex's beddy-room after dinner?"_

Eloise carved a line across her thigh, hissing softly at the pain

"_How dare you cheat on me, you malenky whore!"_

"_What…what the hell are you talking about?! You're going out with that girl, why can't I go out with this boy. You're being an ass Alex, you don't own me! Now let me out of this room, I don't like you right now and I don't want to be anywhere near you!"_

"_You're not going anywhere. You sodding bitch; you actually gave him a taste of what belongs to me?!"_

"_A-Alex you're scaring me…please let me leave now, you're upset…you need to calm down"_

"_Slooshy here, you grazhny pig…you and I are going to have some of the ol' in out, right right?"_

"_No…I don't want to, especially not right now. I want to leave, right now"_

"…_My appy polly loggies, sweet Ellie-Girl, did you slooshy me say you had a choice?"_

Eloise cleaned her self-inflicted wounds with the slowness of a zombie, the sting of alcohol did nothing to faze her. She wrapped bandages around her thighs and wrists and went to bed; when the images started to sneak into her mind she pressed down on the cuts to drive it away. She pressed so hard that the pain took her breath away and she passed out.

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**Please Review :)**


	4. Weeping Willow

Thank You so, so much SkyCord1990 and DemonBarber14 for your reviews; they are insightful, flattering, and wonderful to read :D and thanks DemonBarber14 for taking the time and effort to write two reviews ^.^

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**4. Weeping Willow**

"_Eloise…honey, wake up…mama's here now."_

It was Saturday. Her mother used to wake her up on Saturday mornings by singing "Good Morning" at the top of her lungs, Eloise would pretend to be annoyed at first but always ended up joining in as they made their breakfast. She missed her so much it physically hurt. If her mother was alive, everything would be okay again and nobody would ever be able to hurt her again. Eloise curled into herself and squeezed her eyes shut in fear as her bedroom door creaked open.

Her body went rigid as his hand landed on her hip; she was lying on her side. He ran his hand along the curve of her body, his breath was hot against her throat. He flipped her over onto her back and pinned her down with his body. "Good morning, little Ellie!" he said in a boisterous and happy voice. He kissed her neck and raked his teeth hungrily across her skin, she forced out a reply; "Good morning Alex"

Alex sat up, his weight crushing her and pushing out any air. "I'm feeling real horrorshow, love, do you want to know why?" _No, I don't want to know anything from you. I don't you anywhere near me._"Why are you so happy?" she asked, surprised at her ability to speak—fragile as her voice was. He grabbed her jaw in a tight grip, squeezing her face so tightly that her lips were forced to pucker. He kissed her hard, a bruising and dominating kiss. Nothing like how he used to kiss her.

"My gloopy parents…" he slipped his hand between them to cup her corrupted innocence, grinning as she whimpered and her legs shook; her body attempting to prepare itself for today's suffering. "…are going on a trip to India, for three weeks" he forced his hand into her pajama bottoms, past her underwear where he roughly raked his fingernails across her flesh; drawing beads of blood from the soft, sensitive skin. "I don't know about you, love, but I'm going to have a flip horrorshow time"

"D-Don't…please Alex…please stop hurting me" she begged him, tears streaming past her temples and disappearing in her hair. She wasn't a natural red head, she was a brunette but she'd gotten tired of it. Her mother had taken her to Madame Rose's Salon to get her hair colored changed, Eloise had debated between a simple blonde but chose a violet red; a beautiful color and BAM! enough to turn heads at school and to make the cute senior boys look twice at her.

According to psychologists, when a woman dyes her hair red it means that she is feeling confident. Eloise had been feeling great the weeks prior to her hair change, she'd come out of her shell and performed for an audience the first time in her life. She was a peacock, not a pigeon.

Being around Alex made her feel more like a pigeon with broken wings than a bright, fabulous peacock; he wouldn't allow her to wear anything fashionable, gone were the vintage print baby-doll dresses and lace cardigans, replaced by ill-fitting trousers and loose button up white shirts; high collar and long sleeved, her new wardrobe under his regimen was boring, quiet, and unfeminine.

He was making her feel unattractive, and it was working. He wouldn't even let her wear a little bit of lip stick, her once voluptuous hair was flat and life-less, her usually manicured finger nails were covered chipped paint. Alex made sure there was nothing to draw confidence from, if she looked bad she would feel bad, and that's what he wanted. If he allowed her to dress fashionably, to wear her makeup and do her nails it would slowly start to build up her confidence. No.

Alex forced his fingers into her dry cavern, pumping his digits and smirking as she squirmed under his weight. Her eyes filling with huge tears and her breathing shallow, he trailed his acid kisses down her throat to her collarbone, his lips brushing against the hem of her flannel top. She turned her face away and choked back a sob, one of the most horrible parts of this was him kissing her; a kiss was something so precious, a signal of love and he tainted it for her (he tainted a lot of things)

It dawned on her that he was going to rape her in her own bedroom now, with his parents gone it didn't matter to him where. But this was supposed to be her safe haven, the place she went to cry and attempt to comfort herself after this horrifying encounters with him, Eloise started to fight him with renewed vigor. He looked a bit surprised, then angry, then…excited. He easily subdued her, and he tied her wrists to the bed frame with the scarves her mother bought for her, on her thirteenth birthday (she'd seen Coco Chanel wearing similar ones in a magazine and just HAD to have them)

"NO! NO! NO!" She screamed out, twisting her body violently underneath his. He reeled back and backhanded her across the face, but it only made her fight back harder. But when she spat on his face, the excitement in his eyes vanished to be replaced by a violent anger that made her immediately stop struggling in her terror. "I-I…I'm sorry" she tried, her voice high pitched and warbly. Her heart was pounding as he climbed off of her and left her line of vision, when he came back with his black cane she started struggling against her binds again, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

He pulled out the knife, she was hyperventilating now. With coldness in his eyes, Alex cut her shirt open and pulled it from her. He proceeded to cut away until she was all nagoy and trembling before his eyes, she was trying to keep her legs closed (how cute) but a violent whack from his cane forced them open. He settled himself between her thighs and his face split into a twisted grin.

"_So, Ellie-Girl…what music do you slooshy to?"_

"_Oh well…I love oldies…I used to sing them all the time with mom, we sang __**'What a Wonderful World' **__every single day."_

Alex untied her, but she didn't have the energy to fight anymore. She simply laid there like a rag doll, mumbling about how sorry she was and "please Alex, please don't hurt me" blubbering like scared little girl. He grabbed her arm and dragged her into his own bedroom,that wicked gleam never leaving his eyes. He was excited, angry, aroused, and his target was her.

He was going to destroy her, inside and out.

He barked at her to lay on his bed, gripping his cane threateningly. He removed Ode to Joy from his stereo system and replaced it something new. He set the new song on loop. She was squeezing her eyes shut, attempting to dissociate herself from her rape. Alex was filled with an indescribable anger at this, and so after turning the stereo on and setting it full blast he pounced on her.

As he bit, scratched, and pounded into her; Eloise became aware of the song that was playing during his vicious attack on her body. It was _"What a Wonderful World"_. "T-Turn that off, Alex please…please turn it off…change it…please! TURN IT OFF, NO NO NO NO! PLEASE ALEX, TURN IT OFF!" her agony could not be put into words, this was her and her mother's song. And he was blasting it during…this.

He squeezed her, bruised her, filled her, shattered her as her mother's and hers' favorite song blared in the background. "TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF, ALEX! PLEASE TURN IT OFF!" the images of memories; with her mother in the kitchen as they frosted cupcakes or cleaned the house, singing this song happily and sometimes off-key, were being replaced by horror. There was no other word to describe it, just pure horror. Her voice was hoarse now from screaming.

Her words now were barely there, fragments of a lost prayer.

"…please…please"

And as Alex looked down at his victim, he _laughed._

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**Please Review!**


	5. Death Sentence

Thank you so, so much SkyCord1990 and DemonBarber14 for your reviews and for adding to alerts and favorites and thank you a-rock-n-roll-suicide for adding to alerts and favorites ^.^

**Warning:** There is some heavy, _heavy_ physical abuse (border-lining on _torture _really)

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**5. Death Sentence**

Day One, Week One: _Sunday_

One might assume that she'd be relieved, happy even that her tormentor would be spending the majority of the day at work but Alex made sure to make Eloise's day as stressful as he possibly could. Before he left gave a list of "chores" and it went as follows:

_**Clean the bathroom**_

_**Organize my records**_

_**Clean my stereo**_

Obviously, cleaning the bathroom wouldn't be challenging. She was more annoyed than anything when he handed her this list but dared not show it. After a vicious and "playful" whack with his cane Alex pulled her into a kiss; from far away it might have looked passionate but you and I both know, dear reader that it was not.

He bit down on her lip so hard, blood pooled into his mouth along with her sharp whimper of pain. Her fists were crushed between their bodies and no matter how hard she pushed he would not budge. Finally he stopped and pulled away, "Don't forgot now, little sister. You are not to leave this house, do you pony?" Eloise nodded, tears rolling down her face as she looked at the ground.

She started on the list, the bathroom wasn't filthy of course but it did need some cleaning. She tried to be positive, perhaps cleaning up would take her mind off things for a while. She needed a distraction. But when she opened the cupboards…Eloise screamed, inside was a huge snake. She reeled back so violently that her lower back slammed into the rim of the bathtub. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to scream but only producing a wheezing sound of fright.

"_Are you a fan of reptiles, such as snakes little sister?"_

"_Oh no, no…I'm not very fond of snakes. I'm sorry"_

"_No need for appy polly loggies, love, that's perfectly alright. But thou are shaking very hard right now. May I inquire as to how you came to be so frightened by these creatures?"_

"_I fell into a snake pit when I was four, they um…they weren't poisonous but they crawled all over me and they bit at me. I've been scared of them ever since…I think my broken arm sort of added to the experience and I was all alone, my mom found me an hour later and got some neighbors to help take me out"_

"_My poor little baby, Uncle Alex is here now to chase away the monsters, yes? I won't ever let any baddiwad snakes hurt my Ellie-Girl"_

The cleaning supplies were trapped in the snake's coils, if she wanted to get them she would need to _touch_ the snake. No, No, No! Eloise remembered it too clearly, herself losing her footing and crashing what felt like a thousand miles per hour into the pit, the pain that exploded as she landed on her arm, the feeling of the snakes slithering all over her body, the sound of their hissing, how she screamed and cried for what felt like years to a small child. The terror that she would die, the sharp pain as the snakes sank their teeth into her soft skin, and not knowing then that they weren't venomous.

Eloise was hyperventilating and even in her panicked state she realized this was another one of his sick games. She tried to suck it up and grab the supplies she needed but the moment her fingers brushed against the skin of the horrible creature she let out a shriek and bolted from the bathroom. Without thinking she called Alex's work. She tried to remain calm as his boss answered, "This is the music store Melodia, Roger Corman speaking. How may I help you?"

"Yes, hello? Um…is Alex there please? I-It's an emergency"

"Oh yes of course, hold on a moment please"

Now it was Alex talking

"Hi, Hi, Hi there!"

"A-Alex, I c-can't clean the bathroom"

"…and why not, pray tell?"

"Th-There's…there's…please Alex _please_…don't make me!"

"You _will_ clean the _sodding_ bathroom, you blasted soomka!"

"I'm trying! I c-can't! The _snake_ Alex, please!"

"It better be done by the time I get back, oh and everything else too."

He hung up. She tried to steady her rapid breathing, she was sweating. After a moment she decided to give up on the bathroom for the time being and went to organize his records, to her horror though he had not left any instructions for her to do this. So Eloise had no idea how he wanted them organized, and to her further horror she realized she didn't know the first thing about stereo maintenance.

But she noticed that it was very dusty underneath so, being as careful as possible, she picked up the stereo and went to set it on his bed; but then—as if in slow motion—her foot caught the edge of one of his semi-open drawers and the stereo slid out of her grip, crashing to the floor. The shatter of glass and plastic and metal was like a death sentence to her ears.

She couldn't breathe

Eloise hadn't cleaned the bathroom, done his laundry, washed the dishes, or done any of the things he told her. No, all she'd done in the last thirty minutes was break his expensive, beloved stereo with…oh no, his Symphony no.9 record still in it! She carefully took it out, her breathing shallow with terror. And to her horror it was badly scratched and damaged.

_No, please! Oh God please save me!_

In a daze she went back to the bathroom thinking that maybe, if she sucked it up and grabbed the cleaning supplies and cleaned really, really good he wouldn't be so angry (it was wishful thinking, she knew) but again, she just couldn't touch the damn snake and his hissing sounded very much like mean laughter to her ears. And then the door was opening and closing.

"I'm homey-homey-home!" Alex called out, without thinking she ran to him. "Alex, wh-what are you doing home? You've only been gone for half an hour!" he took off his jacket and threw it lazily onto the couch, "I told them I was sick. Hmm, I see you've done nothing at all, and the bathroom?"

"…I tried…."

_**SMACK!**_

She held her burning cheek and shrunk into herself, her eyes blurring with tears. Her head bowed like a beaten dog. "Let's see how you did with my records" He said in a calm voice as if he hadn't just backhanded her into the wall. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back, "No, wait Alex!" but he easily kept on walking, no matter how hard she pulled on him he wouldn't be pulled back or stopped.

He opened his bedroom door, she'd let go of him and was pressing herself against the wall. Slowly sinking down as she waited, he re-emerged and his eyes were black with rage. His jaw clenched hard, his nostrils flaring and his chest rising and falling, fingers clutching his black cane so hard his knuckles blanched.

_Please God in heaven, have mercy! Have mercy! please, please, please, please!_

"Get in here"

She obeyed, and she was shaking so hard. "Get on all fours" he growled, she hesitated and he slammed his cane against her lower back so hard she could swear she felt her skin split apart even under her shirt. She sobbed and quickly got on her hands and knees, "Pick up the glass with your mouth" he said in an eerily calm voice, "Wh-What?" another whack with his cane, "Pick up the sodding glass shards with your mouth you malenky bitch!"

Eloise leaned down and attempted to pick a shard with her teeth, tried to avoid using her lips or tongue but somehow the shard managed to cut into her lip and she dropped it with a hiss of pain. "You're going to pick up all these shards, Ellie-girl"

Three hours later; her lips were covered in tiny but deep cuts, her tongue sliced up and tiny pieces of glass embedded into her palms and the lower half of her face, even her gums were cut up a little bit. And none of the shards had been successfully picked up, Alex stood up from where he'd been watching her. She noticed him pull up his zipper and wondered if he'd been…_masturbating?_

Surely, he wasn't that sick? Oh hell, what was she thinking…of course he was.

He shook his head and tsked at her, and before she knew it he was beating her with his cane. He didn't scream at her, or even say anything mean, he simply beat her with the passiveness of an executioner who'd heard one to many pleas for mercy and was simply bored of it all. Except of course, Alex wasn't bored of hearing her screaming. His eyes glittered and his pants tightened.

And then he stopped, "You're working at Melodia now. You will no longer go to school during these next three weeks, you will work to pay for the damage you have caused. No questions asked"

He kicked her hard, breaking her ribs and walked away. Eloise vomited and lost consciousness. And yet even in her dreams she could not escape her living nightmare, no…not even there.

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_**Please Review**_

**Holy crap, he's making her life a living hell. Poor Eloise. **


	6. Almost Like a Prayer

Thank you so, so much SkyCord1990 for reviewing

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**6. Almost Like a Prayer**

I've never been confronted with my own thoughts  
They don't bother me when I'm alone  
Can you come over save me, because he won't stop  
Now get him off his fucking throne

Caution the floor's wet in here, been crying  
I don't know why he seems convinced I'm lying  
I don't know what he's capable of doing  
but he's hurting me

It's not his fault I made him lose his temper  
I should know better not to talk to loud  
There's no one out there who could love me better  
I'm not like you, you are too proud

Caution the floor's wet in here been crying  
I don't know why he seems convinced I'm lying  
I don't know what he's capable of doing  
but he's hurting me

Don't leave me  
Please believe me  
Baby there is  
I can explain  
Please love me  
Please need me.

I've never been confronted with my own thoughts  
They don't bother me when I'm alone  
Can you come over save me, because he won't stop  
Now get him off his fucking throne.

**-Maria Mena, He's Hurting Me**

She woke up in a groggy state, her head throbbing dully and her were senses muffled (for lack of better words) her lips were scabby and she could taste blood in her mouth. Her jaw ached; she whimpered softly and pressed her palms on the floor to help push her up. Eloise hissed in pain but managed to stand up, as wobbly as she was. He'd broken two of her ribs, it hurt to breathe. But the stereo and even her vomit had been cleaned up. She gingerly walked out into the living room, where he was sitting and watching television. He didn't seem to be paying much attention really, instead he was lovingly stroking that damn snake. When she saw this, Eloise froze and started backing up.

"Get over here, Ellie-Girl" he ordered, and she had no other choice. She sat in the arm chair across from him, shaking from terror of the monster in his arms and of Alex himself. "Touch him" he sneered, "…No" and without warning, Alex threw the snake at her. She jumped and screamed so loud it could have woken the dead, the snake landed in her lap and she was sobbing. "T-Take it off! Take it off, Take it off!" her hands gripping the arms of the chair so tightly her knuckles blanched, finger nails digging into the fabric, and her breathing uneven. She kept repeating those words, almost like a prayer.

While he watched her, his eyes glittering the whole time

"You've been a baddiwad girl, haven't you?"

"Y-Yes…yes, Alex please...p-please….take it off"

"Not until you admit you're nothing but a grahzny whore"

"I-I'm a f-filthy whore"

"Say you're my grahzny whore"

"I'm your filthy whore, Alex. I'm y-your filthy whore"

Each word tasted like poison in her mouth, and she wanted to spit it all back in his face but she needed him to take the snake away from her, she was sweating now and shaking and crying. He smirked and picked up the snake, holding it gently and stroking it lovingly before putting it away. Alex sat down across from her, and he smiled one of his charming smiles at her. "Come here" his voice was gentle.

Eloise stood in front of him. Alex grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles softly, "Come here" he repeated, his voice even softer than before; almost a whisper. He pulled her down onto his lap, so that she was facing him, her thighs on either side of him. He reached into the drawer next to them and pulled out some wipes, she jumped a little at his touch as he gently started wiping away the dried up blood on her face. "Poor baby, poor sladky devotchka of mine" he cooed.

He kept cleaning up the blood and the stray vomit that she'd forgotten was there, "You start your rabbit with me at twelve oh oh clock, yes? Now give us a kiss on the rot" he said, Eloise foolishly tried to pull away and his grip tightened. "Put your sodding lips on mine, you grahzny bitch!" back again was the evil Alex, and his finger nails were drawing blood. "M-My lips, Alex please…they s-still hurt" she tried to explain, His hands tangled and ripped at her hair. "Is it my fault you destroyed my stereo, little sister? Hmm, is it? Answer me!" Alex practically screamed the last question into her ear.

"No! No it wasn't, but…but please Alex…please!"

Alex wrenched her forward so that his face was not even inches from hers, she was trapped in those blue eyes of his. He was holding her against his body tightly, leaning his body so that his body squeezed her. She couldn't block him out, and he made sure of this.

"I own you. You're mine, do you pony that little Ellie-girl? You are mine. Mine to fuck, mine to hurt, mine to bruise, mine. You belong to me. I'm going to rip you apart Ellie-girl, by the time I'm finished with you, and you're going to piss yourself in fear just hearing my eemya"

There was escaping him, no getting out of this hell. She slumped against him, her forehead on his shoulder, her body racked by slow deep shuddery sobs. "…you promised…" she croaked, her voice dry and warbly and broken. He ran his fingers through her hair, "You promised me…said you'd never let anyone hurt me…I loved you so much…(sob) what did I do? Alex, what did I do to make you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you, Ellie-Girl"

"I hate you…I hate you with every fiber of my being"

"I know"

He crushed his lips against hers and her shriek of pain just barely hid his voice, "I know you do, Ellie-Girl"

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**Please Review**


	7. What Could've Been

Thank you so much DemonBarber14 :D

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**7. What Could've Been**

Whenever I see you

I'll swallow my pride

And my bite my tongue

Pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what

it feels like to really cry

_**-Cry, Lea Michelle (Original by Kelly Clarkson)**_

The car ride to Melodia was quiet, her head resting against the window and watching the people on streets and the cars driving past. They kept hitting the red rights, Alex drove through two of them while another car roared angrily at them and he grinned. Finally they got there, after a quick warning to let him to do the talking or else; they were walking in. Alex held her hand like a good boyfriend would. Something about his gentility hurt her deeply, like an echo of what could have been.

You know, if he _wasn't_ a psychopathic, controlling, abusive, evil monster.

Alex was the first boy she'd loved, she loved being near him, loved listening to him, and perhaps she was made all the more vulnerable to him due to her struggling with her beloved mother's death. He had after all initially been her main support during her grieving process (mind you of course, she would never stop grieving her mother)

_One week, she'd been living this house. Shelia asked her time and again how she was doing, and each time she said she alright. She hadn't cried over her mother since she'd first received the news; it was boiling under the surface now but she was too exhausted and too heartbroken to even shed tears. The only words that filtered in and out of her mind was "Mama's dead, Mama's dead, Mama's dead"_

_Eloise felt as if she was constantly submerged under water, she felt as if she wanted to scream out her pain and her frustration and her hurt but couldn't figure out how to open her mouth. She felt lethargic and empty, how could she possibly survive without her strong, funny, wonderful mother by her side?_

_Alex wasn't an obtrusive force but a gentle one, he didn't constantly pester her about whether or not she was okay but when he did the sincerity in his voice was heartwarming. He kept doing little things here and there to make her feel better, one day she came home from school and he had framed all of her pictures of her with her mother and put them in her room. _

_She suffered a nightmare one night, in which she was standing in the middle of a room full of people without faces; as it their features had been wiped away. They kept on chanting in a whisper "Mama's dead. It's all your fault. Mama's dead. It's all your fault" over and over, then they parted like a sea and her mother stood there, smiling gently. But then her skin started splitting open and there was the sound of metal and glass and car horns. _

_Eloise woke up screaming. She'd been the one to identify her mother's corpse, and she'd been having nightmares almost every night. Tonight was the first night that she woke up screaming though, and without thinking or allowing any thoughts to filter through her mind she wrenched her door open and, stumbling over own feet, ran into Alex's bedroom. She stopped at the foot of his bed, her tears running down her face as she tried to shake the image of her mother's mangled body from her mind._

_When she had been a child, after a nightmare she would stand by her mother's bed side and not say a word. She just naturally assumed her mother; even in her deepest slumber, would be able to sense her daughter's emotional turmoil. There were times when her mother would wake up, or Eloise would wake her, or Eloise would simply crawl into bed with her. _

_Alex woke up, he turned his lamp on and shrouded them in artificial sun light. He wasn't wearing a shirt and normally this would have made her blush and look away but she was so scared and so broken and she felt so lonely and lost. She didn't need to say anything, Alex made room for her and she lay with him. His arms around her waist felt safe and warm and strong, not scary. _

_Her back pressed against his chest and his face buried in her soft hair, they looked the picture of the perfect couple. He threaded his fingers with hers and she was unaware of the sadistic smirk slowly playing on his lips, "How gloopy can she be?" he wondered to himself as he held her and hushed her gently whenever she'd whimper in her sleep._

"Roger, meet my dorogoy little sister; Eloise." Alex introduced her, the man was in his mid-thirties and had a gentle face. He smiled warmly at her, "Ah yes, Alex called in and said you needed some work to do" Eloise nodded, staring straight at the ground. "Well, why don't you organize the records for me. Alex can show you the ropes, but please feel free to approach me about anything"

Organize the records; oh the irony.

**2 Hours Later**

"Are you really that gloopy?! Are you, answer me! You take the sodding records with the blue labels—do it Eloise, now. Good girl, now you take them and put them in the top bin; can you pony that?"

"B-But Alex…I can't…"

"Why the bloody hell not, are thou defying me little sister?"

"No! No! It's just…my ankle. Alex, please"

Eloise had sprained her ankle badly during his earlier beating and while it wasn't broken, it hurt to walk. But he growled at her and whacked the back of her knees hard with his cane, so she grabbed a chair and the box of records he'd told her to put up on the top shelf. The pressure on her foot was excruciating and she lost her grip and her balance, Alex—who knew what about to happen—put himself at a safe distance to avoid the shelves that came crashing down along with her.

Eloise barely managed to roll out of the way before getting too seriously injured, and Roger Corman came running out of his office. "What happened? Is everyone okay?" Alex immediately switched into the concerned role, helping Eloise up onto her feet. "Are you alright, love?"

"She's got a nasty cut on her shoulder that'll need stitches, Alex why don't you take her to the hospital" Roger said, obviously concerned about her but at the same time agitated at the damage to his shop. Eloise felt horrible, "I'm so sorry! It was an accident" Roger waved his hand, "My main concern right now is you, what on earth happened?"

"I…I have a sprained ankle and I…I'm sorry"

"You tried to put a seven pound box on a high shelf on a sprained ankle?"

It sounded so stupid, didn't it? "I don't know what I was thinking." Roger sighed, "I don't think is going to work out, I'm sorry Alex…I know you said she needed the money but, no…just no"

They were walking down the flat-block marina, and Alex hadn't said a word to her. Her shoulder was bleeding and hurt terribly. "A-Alex?" she finally said, he cocked an eyebrow at her. "Are you…are you mad at me?" she asked timidly, he suddenly grinned and pulled her into a hug. "Of course not, love, after all you are very sorry for embarrassing Uncle Alex aren't you?"

"Yes, I am…I'm very sorry"

The grin morphed into a dangerous smirk, the smirk that told her he was about to have fun at her tragic expense. Nothing new of course; "Get on your knees"

She went pale, "B-But…my mouth, it still hurts and w-we're in public, somebody could see us" he pushed down on her injured shoulder, relishing in her scream of pain, "Get on your knees you blasted soomka" and she obeyed. She tried to block out the sound of his zipper, tried to ignore the taste and the ache in her jaws as he pounded himself into her mouth. She tried to push away the shame and the anger and the hurt, he hadn't done this to her since the first time he'd…

No. She couldn't look there, couldn't open that box.

The first time Alex raped her was the most painful in her memories, it was the ultimate betrayal. It was the first time she realized her protector was actually her worst tormenter; the first time he hurt her. Eloise couldn't bare to recall the night in which the love of her life stole her innocence while she screamed and cried and begged him to stop, that it hurt so badly.

Tears rolled down her face as he came inside of her mouth, gagging at the taste. He growled at her to swallow it and she obeyed, it felt like acid going down her throat and she could feel in her belly. She wanted to die. Since the third rape, this was the first time he'd sexually abused her and she realized that when they got home he would hurt her again.

Before she knew it, they were at the house…and then inside…and then into his room, she was shaking and she wanted all of this to stop. He locked the door. She snapped when she felt his hands on her waist, and elbowed him in the face; breaking his nose. She ran to the door and screamed, trying to figure out the stupid lock and was wrenched back by her hair.

Her screams were lost in the cage that was his room

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**Please Review**

**Do you guys remember the lock on Alex's bedroom door in the movie? Freaking scary as hell in my opinion.**


	8. Mine to Control

Thank You DemonBarber14 and SkyCord1990 :D I can't say it enough!

8. Mine to Control

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**Alex's POV**

I like stretched and yawned the next morning, and got out of my bed. There were scratch marks on my arms and collarbone, for my little Ellie-girl had like gone a little mad in her gulliver and fought me real horrorshow, oh my brothers.

I, that is Alex, was glad for it, it was horrorshow fun for me when they fought and screamed and scratched at me with their fingernails. But still, she'd gotten pretty deep in there; so I made like a mental note to trim her nails. I had been especially ultra-violent last night—since we were on our oddy knocky and my door lock did its rabbit real, real nicely of not letting anyone in or out. And now, in the glow of my bliss and heaven as I made myself some nice eggiwegs; I recalled the very first time I'd fillyed with the sweet little devotchka boo-hoo-hooing in her pain in my bedroom.

"_Could thou itty up to your beloved Alex's beddy-room after dinner?"_

My fingers tightened on the handle of the spatula, and my jaw like tightened in anger. The gloopy, malenkly little whore had dared to bring another chelloveck into my domain; can thou believe the audacity my brothers? How dare she, how dare she! Even thinking about it set your humble narrator's teeth on like edge. She belonged to me, she was mine and nobody else could touch her.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Mine to make bleed out the red, red kroovy. Mine to control and make cry, Mine to fuck until she passed out from like the agony, Mine to dominate and master. Mine, do you pony that my brothers? She was mine, and she had the fucking audacity to try and give herself to another man.

But wait, thou are most likely recalling that I to brought home a girl. That is different, I am allowed to do such things. I am allowed to have like multiple girls to filly around with, because I am master and Ellie-Girl is the servant. If I want some pol, she's going to spread those pretty legs for me. You should hear her, screaming whenever I force my panhandle inside her tight warmth.

_She knock-knock-knocks on my door, "Come in; come in little sister dearest" I call out in a happy voice which is like empty of any vicious intentions. Pee and Em have taken their sleepy-time pills and won't hear anything at all. She smiled all sweet at me, and wasn't spoogly of me at all; my brothers, because up until now, I'd been like her Knight in Shining Armor, protecting her against the wicked world._

"_Come sit with big brother, come now darling" I said, patting my bed. She sat down next to me, "Now, I want you to promise your beloved Alex that thou shall never filly with that nasty little malchick" my arm around her shoulder tightened, just a little bit. She looked all confused at my slovos; the stupid little bitch. "But…I really like him, he's very sweet and…I thought you guys got along well at dinner tonight?"_

"_Seeing you with him, is like real real agony to me little sister. Do you not care that you're actions are hurting and torturing your beloved Alex?"_

_She like hugged me, my brothers, and I stifled laughter at her stupidity. "Oh no, no! Alex, please don't think that even for a minute. You're so special to me…and I'm special to you right?" the last words are spoken in a pleading way, I have her wrapped around my finger. "Of course you are, my sweet sweet little angel, so very precious and special to me"_

_We leaned against the headboard of my bed, her all snug against me. "I hate that we can't be together, besides…you're a far better kisser than he is" and she laughs her sweet feminine laugh. But it isn't that which like catches my attention, it's the confession that she kissed him. My grip on her tightens like ultra-violent hard, fingernails digging into her skin. My voice comes out all rough like, my brothers_

_"How dare you cheat on me, you malenky whore!"_

_I grabbed her face and before she knew it, I slammed her head back into the headboard. She recovered from the surprise and pain a few moments later, and she was real real angry at your humble narrator. _

_"What…what the hell are you talking about?! You're going out with that girl, why can't I go out with this boy. You're being an ass Alex, you don't own me! Now let me out of this room, I don't like you very much right now and I don't want to be anywhere near you!"_

_She went to get up and leave but I pulled her back onto the bed, holding my body above hers and using my arms as like a type of cage in which to trap her inside of. She was starting get a little poogly of me, and I sneered down at her. "You kissed him, you fucking kissed him you filthy little soomka" and then I started to crush my lips against hers, and she was panting in fear because she didn't know where her sweet Alex had like gone, she was trying to understand and process the simple fact_

_That I—her beloved and protective Alex—was about to do something like horrible to her innocent person. She started blubbering again about how she didn't like me at all right now and to let her leave, but I pinned her wrists above her head and leaned my face down so my breath tickled her neck._

_"You're not going anywhere. You sodding bitch; you actually gave him a taste of what belongs to me?!"_

_Ellie-Girl was starting to shake underneath my stronger body, as if it knew my cruel intentions but her mind had not yet accepted or even thought of it. My grip on her was only getting tighter, and she spoke up in a dry sort of whisper of a voice. _

_"A-Alex you're scaring me…please let me leave now, you're upset…you need to calm down"_

_"Slooshy here, you grazhny pig…you and I are going to have some of the ol' in out, right right?"_

_"What...why are you being like this?! Alex, please! This isn't like you, why are being so vicious to me?" she sobbed, all heartbroken over me being so terrible to her in my actions and in my words. Then something like flashed across her face, realization. "In out?...y-you mean sex? No, no Alex not right now…especially not right now"_

"_And why not, I thought you loved me?" I growled at her_

"_Not when you're like this! I want to make love to my protector and best friend, the boy who I love with all my heart…I don't know who you are right now! Please Alex, just take some time to calm down okay?"_

_"…My appy polly loggies, sweet Ellie-Girl, did you slooshy me say you had a choice?"_

_And so it like began. She started kicking her legs and flailing around, she tried to horn out for help but I crushed my rooker over her mouth. I could make out her muffled pleas as I ripped at her platties and revealed her beautiful, beautiful flesh for the very first time. So soft, so sweet. She arched her neck and screamed against my hand, which I removed so I could grab hold of her knees and force her legs apart._

_She tried to resist me, and her voice was all strangled with emotion. "A-Alex please, please don't do this! Please, please, please!" and I grew fagged of hearing her speak so I reached into my drawer and pulled out a tie, shoving it into her mouth to keep her quiet. Her pleas were real muffled now, resembling the sounds of an animal on the chopping block about to slaughtered and like begging the farmer to have mercy. I raked my teeth down her throat, and I started to like bite her all over hard._

_Ellie-Girl was horning away, pushing with all her like strength at me but unable to move me very much at all. I could slooshy her saying no like over and over, no no no no and sometimes no, please. I could not hold back any longer, and I crushed her body with mine; my hips against hers and my panhandle against her inner thigh. She let out a muffled shriek when she felt me, and I smirked at her._

_I wanted to hear her scream when I plunged, so I took out the tie and rammed into her. She gave a real horrorshow scream of pain, her glazzies squeezed shut as she began to sob real violently at this agony I was forcing her to go through; oh yes my brothers. I started fucking her, real real savage. She squirmed and writhed underneath me, boo-hoo-hooing out over and over again_

"_Alex stop! Please, please stop! Alex, please! You're hurting me! Stop, stop, stop!"_

_She was so very tight my brothers, and so very warm. I kept on pounding myself into her now broken innocence and I could viddy the red red kroovy painting her inner legs now. She hadn't been like aroused and I didn't care to be a gentleman to her. Her pleasure and comfort did not matter, only mine. _

"_You belong to me, say it"_

_Ellie-Girl refused, shaking her head and sobbing at me to leave her alone, that she like hated me. And she started to cry out for her mother to like save her, can you believe it my brothers? "Make him stop! Please mama, please make him stop! He's hurting me!" so I gave a nice, hard tolchock across her face and growled at her again, "Say you fucking belong to me"_

"_I belong to you" she mumbled, all weakly and I felt myself about to reach that moment of bliss; and she realized it too because she started to fight me again, "Don't do it inside, please!" but I did my brothers; and she sobbed about how it burned. I started again ("No, not again! Not again, please!") and kept on doing it over and over, she eventually passed out._

_During my vicious attacks on her I forced her to talk dirty to me, made her say real real nasty things like "I want your big, thick cock deep inside my tight little pussy" and those words made her feel so very ashamed and dirty, she cried the whole time and had a very hard time saying them ("I-I want…I want…your b-big…I want your…oh God, please Alex don't make me say it! It's so filthy, it's so filthy please…rape me if you must b-but don't make me…don't make me…please!") but I had slapped her around and made her say those things anyway._

_To shame her, to degrade her, to dehumanize her._

Now I was carrying a plate of eggiwegs to the bedroom, she was awake now and her glazzies were all foggy with dark thoughts and inner pain. I brought in a needle, rubbing alcohol, and some thread. I didn't utter a slovo as I started to sew her broken doll flesh back together. She didn't horn out, and she didn't even cry. She looked real, real sad though my brothers. And sort of confused, as if she still couldn't comprehend the coldness of this nasty world we all live in.

She turned her head and looked at me, "Alex…please…" and her eyes filled with tears which like rolled like little waterfalls down her face, "Alex…please, please _love me again_" I didn't say anything, "I-I know I hurt you…I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Alex…I'm so worthless and s-stupid and you were kind enough to love me and…and I just…I'm sorry I hurt you. I'll be good, I'll be a good girl I promise…okay? Alex, I promise you! J-Just please…please stop hurting me"

I made my face like serious and thinking hard but inside I was in pure bliss, for I had completely destroyed her now. She belonged to me fully, I was her greatest terror now. She was completely under my thumb as it were, so I pulled her into my arms. "Hush now, hush little dorogoy sister of mine. Alex is here now, everything will be alright now"

She was still whimpering at me, "Please love me again…love me again….love me again"

Oh yes, she was wrapped real real tight around my finger and the string was only winding tighter.

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_**Please Review**_


	9. Excerpts from the Future

Thanks DemonBarber14, SkyCord1990, ElektraMackenzie

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9. Excerpts from the Future

**From: **_**Flowers in the Water; a Memoir by Carson James; Page 118**_

"_After her emotional breakdown, Alexander Delarge once again played the role of the loving boyfriend. I believe she was so desperate for the agony he was inflicting to end, so desperate for him to be the man she thought he truly was, that she pushed away all of the horrible things he'd done to her and chose to focus only on what she believed, was the true Alex. It's hard to wrap one's mind around, but you have to remember that she had suffered the loss of the most precious person to her; her mother._

_Alex was there for her in her time of need, her shoulder to cry on, and her first love. What she to think, when he changed and morphed into this violent, possessive, and vicious monster? Can you imagine the confusion, the hurt, the sense of utter betrayal? Below, is a small series of passages from her diary; Allow me to warn you, reader, that it will break your heart as it has mine; each and every time I read them:_

_**Dear Diary,**_

_He hasn't hurt me in a week, a whole week. He's done horrible things, yes but he's good now. He's my Alex again, and he promised he'd stop hurting me. He's so sorry, he feels so badly about what he's done and I just know he's telling the truth. It was my entire fault anyway, Alex reminds me every day and he should because, you know, I need to always remember that it was my fault. _

_-Eloise_

_**Dear Diary,**_

_I don't understand. He was really, really angry at me. He beat me with his black cane, that horrible black cane. Just seeing it makes me tremble in fear. I don't understand, I've been trying so hard to be good. I make his favorite foods, I clean the house, I'm always polite and I constantly tell him that I love him, but something strange happens whenever I say it; there's this twist-y kind of sensation in my stomach and I think that perhaps that I am lying when I say that. I think I say it because…I'm afraid of what will happen if I say the opposite. But I want so badly to believe it is true, that I love him and that he loves me back._

_I want to believe that everything before was nothing but a horrible nightmare, that none of it was real or that the real, kind-hearted, charming, wonderful Alex was somehow cloned and kidnapped and replaced by a monster. As off the wall as that is, of course. But today, today the monster took over again and I felt the claws of fear clutching at me once again. He was angry because I didn't have dinner prepared, I'd spent the entire day cleaning up the house from top to bottom and had laid down for a nap._

_I didn't wake up in time to make dinner, I'm so selfish diary. He was probably starving by the time he got home, and I hadn't made dinner. He kept yelling that when he was beating me on the black and white tiled floor, my blood dripping and blooming onto the floor (…and the Queen said aloud; I wish I could have a little girl with hair black as ebony, skin white as snow, and lips red as blood…) "Does thou think of anyone but yourself, you dim-witted malenky bitch?!" he yelled, hitting me so hard my vision kept going in and out of focus. It was the first time he hit me in such a long time, I'd almost forgotten_

_How much it hurts, diary. _

_He's coming, I have to go"_

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Yes, indeed. Alex had been the picture of a perfect boyfriend in the weeks following his victim's meltdown, being completely sweet to her and gentle as a baby deer. But his Ellie-Girl still knew who she belonged to and kept her promise to be a good girl, but of course it was all a lie. He came back from work one evening and lost his temper over her forgetting to make him dinner, despite the fact that she'd worked hard all day and hadn't had much sleep the night before.

Immediately after he beat her, Alex was so very sorry and he cooked her meatballs with spaghetti to apologize to her, knowing that it was her favorite dish. He bought her flowers the following day and sent them home, and Eloise wasn't even really sure anymore if she was forgiving him or simply cooperating to hopefully keep him calm enough so he wouldn't hurt her.

Eloise was thinking a lot about school, in all the midst of her suffering she'd stopped thinking about it. What was Alex telling them? What was going on? She must have had so much homework to make up, it was awful to think about. She'd never had lower than a 3.5 GPA in her life, what on earth could it be now? And what about her Theater and Music classes; had Mr. Morton given her solo away?

She was starting to get on edge again, around Alex. She tried to steer his moods towards the positive, and blamed herself when they went towards the negative. Sometimes he would just get sad, sitting on the bed and crying softly. Eloise would ask him, beg him to tell her what was wrong and he'd say something about how scared he was that she was going to leave him.

As she'd pull his head down to rest against her chest, she ignored that nauseated sensation (Get him away, hate him hate him hate him) and was not aware of the smirk playing on his lips.

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_**From: "Flowers in the Water: A Memoir; by Carson James; page 148**_

"_One can't help but wonder, what if? What if we'd seen it sooner? Could she have been saved? I did not truly realize what an amazing person we'd lost…the world had lost. There is a shrine dedicated to her in the drama room, and every single day I pass by it the flowers—bright and sweet—never seem to die. I am one of the many who are dedicated to making sure that the flowers there never "die" always replacing them, because we don't any one to forget. And they never shall, the flowers will never die"_

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_**Please Review**_


	10. Miserable Rebellion

**Thank You so much!**

**-DemonBarber14 & SkyCord1990**

**::Have you guys seen "Evilenko"? I love Malcolm, and he's absolutely wonderful at that part but I just can't sit through it, I can't handle children being victimized. Especially knowing that it **_**really**_** happened, you know?::**

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**10. Miserable Rebellion**

Bruises, she was covered in them. She couldn't remember what her flesh looked like, not covered in dry blood, bite marks, his cum…she couldn't remember what she looked like when she bright and sweet and innocent. The word, innocent, was venomous and mocking inside of her mind. Sour tasting on her tongue, and dripping with black humor. Innocent; ha, Eloise wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, her throat hurt. If I had a penny for every time he made me cry and she was so scared of him, the fear was like a black shadow that blocked out the sun—no matter how brightly the sun tried to shine.

Eloise felt like she was constantly drowning.

Suffocating, Dying, Fading Away, Falling Apart

_Am I still pretty? Do you think I'm pretty, he won't let me where makeup or dress up. I miss my pretty dresses, I miss feeling beautiful._

He was gone to work and it hit her, she could…she could…No. She couldn't, he would know, and he would hurt her. She had to be good, she'd promised. And yet, despite her inner battle she found herself in her room, she barely came in her anymore—she hadn't any reason. Alex made her sleep with him and in the morning it was he who picked out her clothes, clothes that he'd bought; those horrible ugly clothes that hid the sexy lingerie he forced her to wear, the lingerie that made her feel so uncomfortable and painfully embarrassed.

She pulled out a box from under her bed, and—opening it carefully, as if he would be able to hear her somehow—pulled out a tube of ruby red lipstick. Her mother's lipstick; a memory flashed across her mind and left her in a strange half heartbroken and half joyful state that only lasted for a whisper of time, leaving as quickly as it had come.

Her mother, with her tragic beauty, standing in front of the mirror and looking like a Queen from one of those fairy tale books; her mother not wearing a t-shirt and jeans like she normally did, but a gown of ocean blue and pearls, not even her mother anymore but an angel; immortal in her beauty and then there was Eloise, proud to know that it wasn't really an angel but her own mother. She knew that there wasn't anyone prettier than mama, and mama would smile at her. She'd give her kiss, and Eloise would later smile at the tiny echo of red on her little lips; she was almost as pretty as mama.

She popped the top off, letting it hit her bed. The mirror on her wall had tiny waves, sometimes it could make you look like a princess trapped in time and sometimes it could make you look like a fat, ugly pig. Eloise started to apply the lipstick and felt a strange rush, yes. She was starting to feel it, that pride a woman feels when she's found the perfect lipstick. She muttered a quote from Marilyn Monroe to herself, despite the fact that it had nothing to do with lipstick it still applied. _"Give a woman the right pair of heels and she can conquer the world"_

Alex didn't care for Marilyn Monroe

_He can go fuck himself_ she shook her head, she couldn't think like that. It was horrible of her, it was wicked and selfish like he always said. Wicked and selfish, her lips were so sensual looking now, red and perfect. The lips of a fairy tale princess, just like mama's had been on that night. She made faces at her reflection, the excitement and fear mixing inside of her belly.

Happy, pensive, seductive, bored; Eloise grabbed at the mascara and the eye shadow while her mind screamed at her—NO! NO! He's going to be home in less than an hour, you idiot! He's going to see—but her hands were at her face, applying the shimmery gold eye shadow, black eyeliner drawn in a dramatic Cleopatra fashion. It wasn't allowed at school, but Eloise had always had a flair for flamboyant makeup. She looked like a Goddess in the mirror now, with her shimmer gold eyelids; framed by long eyelashes and her Cleopatra eyeliner, her lips plump and blood red. She felt…she felt…beautiful again.

At this moment, she was not afraid or unsure or broken. Her mother had let her use this lipstick on the night she'd performed; and she'd felt powerful on that stage. There was a time, yes. She remembered, she remembered. Then she looked at her arms and saw the bruises, and reality crashed into at every side like mac trucks running down a hill because they'd forgotten their brakes

Eloise looked at the clock, twenty minutes and he'd be home. Twenty minutes, twenty minutes. She tore off her sweat pants and the snot green shirt that was too big for her; tore off the shameful crotchless thong and lacy bra, standing completely naked and feeling a vexing mixture of excitement, self-shame, and a strange sort of confusion. The latter was hard to even explain to herself, much less the another person but it was there. She opened her drawers and took out her favorite pair of boy short style panties, sexy but sweet at the same time.

White and covered in little strawberries, and the bra—which hadn't come with it—but still matched; a strawberry pink and the middle decorated with a white ribbon. Modest enough to make her feel safe but sexy enough to make her feel like a woman, if that made any sense. She pulled on a black cocktail dress, the dress she wore to her school dance before mama died. It still fit like a glove and made her feel like a princess, the soft material felt heavenly against her skin.

Eloise looked at the clock, fifteen minutes and he'd be home. _Get back in the sweatpants, take off the makeup, before he gets home. Hurry up you sad, stupid little bitch _but she couldn't stop her hands from fastening the shimmery gold belt around her waist, couldn't stop her feet from stepping into the golden pumps, couldn't stop her fingers from clipping the red artificial rose into her hair to match her lips.

Beautiful again, was this it felt like? To look into a mirror and not hate yourself?

Eloise had to admit it was a nice feeling, a very very nice feeling (real horrorshow, as Alex would say) she would never to tell him but she never cared for that nadsat speak, and she'd never point out that he wasn't even a teenager anymore. It simply his way of speaking and it made her smile cryptically to imagine him as an old man, still talking like that. Imagine Alex as an old man…she couldn't picture it for the life of her, and pushed the thought away.

Was this her rebellion against him? Dolling herself up when he forbade it?

Ten minutes until he was due home, she started stripping as fast she could; shoving the dress and shoes under the bed and quickly putting on her (ugly, ugly, ugly o so ugly) regular clothes back on, she started to wipe away the makeup; the cleaning pad stained black and gold and red. She knew there were still traces of eyeliner, perhaps a few stray sparkles that were too stubborn to detach themselves from her skin, her lips a faded pinkish color.

Eloise the victim, Eloise the terrified, Eloise the timid was back again. The princess in the mirror had whispered goodbye and now—no matter how hard she looked—she could not see her anywhere. The door opened, "I'm home-y home home, come give your beloved Alex a great bolshy kiss" he called out, she hurried to him and went to give him a kiss when he suddenly grabbed at her hair, clutching the red rose she'd forgotten to take out with an iron grip. "What's this then? I don't recall buying this for you" he said, his voice dripping with accusations and viciousness.

"I've had it since I was twelve, please Alex…please" He stared at her for a few painfully long moments but then let her go, "Alright. I believe you, come here" she sat on his lap, sideways and reminded herself—as she did a lot this days—that she had to be careful, their...relationship (if one could call it that) was like walking on egg shells; except the egg shells were detonators that would blow up and destroy the world if she stepped on them.

She'd sung for him once, by accident, back in the days before the demon had taken over him (the power of Christ compels you…no, she wasn't a hardcore Christian but yes…she found herself thinking that he needed an exorcism. For some reason, the thought of a priest throwing holy water on him and Alex writhing in pain was darkly humorous to her and she didn't know why) she'd thought she was alone, and she'd sung a silly and sweet little song that had been stuck in her head all day long; oh the embarrassment when he'd made his presence known.

"What a pretty little warble of a voice you've got, my darling. And to have the honor of hearing it within the confines of my own beddy-room; how horrorshow for me indeed" he had said, leaning against the door frame and smirking at her blushing face. She was mortified, flattered, embarrassed and overwhelmed with her feelings of infatuation, he was just so handsome. He was her dream come true, the classic portrait of male beauty, unreal and almost frightening in his gorgeousness.

Eloise wondered if she'd known, even then, that there was something off about him. Had she merely pushed it away? She couldn't remember thinking for a moment that he was…bad. But one cannot archive every single tiny thought that passes through their mind, so maybe she'd thought he was bad news…at one point, but now she couldn't recall thinking or feeling such a thing.

_"Where's that warble from little sister? I'm not familiar with it, I fear"_

_"I-It's from an American film…called Please Don't Eat the Daisies…starring Doris Day"_

_"What a strange title for a vinny, does this Doris devotchka really eat flowers?"_

_She laughed, "No, no it's just the title. I suppose they took the title from the song"_

Alex was holding the red flower in his open palm, her head tucked between his jaw and shoulder; she could feel his body—strong and powerful and unforgiving—against her own and when he hand rubbed up and down her back she forced herself to suppress a shudder. Knife hands, metal hands, evil hands. _Stop it, Stop it, Stop it. I don't want your hands on me ever again._

Upstairs the black dress hid under the bed, a symbol of something…something but what?

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**Please Review**

Yes! I'm actually quite proud of this installment, which of course is great because the last few chapters haven't been completely satisfying to me as a writer. Thank you so much, my dear friends and reviewers, for seeing the beauty in my writing even when I couldn't :)


	11. A Good Person

_Thank You so much __**DemonBarber14:**_It's such a wonderful movie, so disturbing and Malcolm is an absolutely amazing actor (of course we all knew that already) It's one of those films where I have to pause it and take a break because if I watch it straight all the way through I'll be psychologically traumatized for the rest of my life xD haha. I've studied and read about Andrei Chikatilo and honestly believe that he is the embodiment of pure evil, I love children and think they're so precious and the idea of someone doing what he did is just sickening on every single level. I want to be a child psychologist

In an interview Malcolm said that the director gave him a bunch of video footage of Chikatilo for developing the character of Evilenko and all that, but Malcolm doesn't work that way and just let them play while he did other stuff (I'm just going off of memory here, so if any of this is a bit off I apologize) but then he turned and saw only a second—only a second—of Chikatilo in a cage, looking straight at the camera and smiling. Can you believe that he took that one second of footage and created such a brilliant performance from it? He's so amazing, I can't even…Gaaaah, I love him.

I watched "If' and "O Lucky Man" they were both great but very strange films, I think I'm just not intelligent enough to fully understand them; I wish I was e_e

And thank you so much **ElektraMackenzie** for reviewing and **ArisuSnow** for adding to your favorites and alerts list

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11. A Good Person

**From: Flowers in the Water, a Memoir by Carson James; pg. 26**

_Katherine Lopez was seventeen years old, a girl of average looks who—like most girls—had the ability to look gorgeous if she so wanted to. But she didn't care for makeup, hated dresses, and loved to play baseball. An official tom boy since she'd been nine years old, it was a wonder to her that she ended up being best friends with Eloise Cambridge. Eloise was only a year younger than her, but Katherine was extremely protective; had been since they were children._

_Eloise wore cute little dresses and always wore her hair in pig tails, the picture perfect little girl with the golden smile. She wasn't of course, nobody is. She bit Theodore Marcus' arm because he'd called Katherine a bitch; none of them really knew what that meant but it didn't sound nice—especially the way he spat it at her and then pushed her to the ground, and a few of them had heard an adult say it once or twice before. Eloise bit him hard enough to draw blood, and all three of them were scolded in the principal's office._

_To this day, Katherine thought Eloise being sent home with a pink slip was unfair. Theodore came back to school the next day, sniffling and not even looking at them. It was after all of this that Eloise and Katie promised to be the best of friends until they died; which—at the age of nine and eight—seemed like a billion years away. Katherine loved Ellie's mother, Jane. And she loved going over to the Cambridge Cottage, it was such a pretty house and the atmosphere was so inviting and sweet._

_Jane was vivacious, loud, funny, and intelligent. And there were moments when Katie would find herself just watching them, interacting with each other and laughing or sometimes even fighting ("Don't you roll your eyes at me" "I'm not" "Yes, you were Eloise" "No, I'm not mother") and there were even the vicious fights, the fights that resulted in both of them leaving in opposite directions in anger only to return twenty or so minutes later as if nothing had happened._

_Katherine was a little happy in a strange way to see all of this, it made her feel like a true Cambridge family member; especially when she herself had gotten into it was Jane. Ellie was her sister, and Katie thought the world of her. She was so bright, sweet, innocent, and cheerful but she was also naïve, stubborn, and picky with her food. Her voice was too die for, and it was Katherine who "persuaded" (more like forced) her to perform at their school's show._

_And then, Jane was dead._

_Eloise was, of course, heartbroken. That was literally the only word that Katherine could think of to describe what she saw when she ran into the hospital room; seeing Eloise on her knees sobbing so hard and so painfully it made Katherine want to rip off her ears so she couldn't hear it anymore. And then Eloise was moving in with the Burgess family and even Katherine couldn't have known that Eloise had entered the ninth circle of Hell._

_Katherine commented on Eloise's death, and as she spoke—her eyes didn't even water, but there was a rare sort of heart break in her voice, too much heartbreak for someone that young._

"_She stopped coming to school…I called her house and she answered…her voice sounded a little shaky but she sounded alright for the most part. But then she…she started telling me that she didn't want to be my friend anymore, that I was a toxic shadow, a bad influence…she told me that she needed to restart her life without me in it, said I was a glove that didn't fit…_

_I guess I should have realized something was off, Eloise and I loved each other like sisters; we had the best times together but I suppose I believed every word because for the weeks before that she'd been a bit stand offish._

_I, well, I told her she was a bitch and that I didn't want to be her friend anyway…I said she was a whore and that she was full of herself, said that she spread her legs for Alex and hung up on her. God I…I feel sick thinking about it, all the things I said and I try to imagine how she felt…with him sitting there forcing her to say those things to me when she must have wanted to ask me to help her…I feel as if I should have…sensed it, her pain and terror. But I suppose…I suppose I just couldn't comprehend the idea of anyone hurting her…she was such a good person, she wasn't Snow White of course but she was a good person and she loved to make people happy, she was nurturing and funny and __**good**__. _

_People are constantly preaching on t.v. about forgiveness and all that. I laugh at the very notion; I hope Alex burns in Hell. I really fucking do."_

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Alex was manipulative and charming, a dangerous combination. And he had the school believing that Eloise had come down with a horrible flu; and he'd forced her to say this lie to them over the phone, she'd never had any behavioral problems and (since he'd beaten her and she sounded weak) she did sound out of sorts, so they didn't think to question it. But the most horrible moment came when he forced her to call Katherine, and made her say the most horrible things.

She'd begged him, but he wasn't swayed and she wanted to die when she heard the hurt and anger in Katherine's voice as she broke off their friendship with her (or Alex's?) cruel words. She wanted to tell Katie the truth, about Alex hurting her and being so awful but he was sitting right next to her the whole time. And his threat hung over her like a black cloud, "She's very pretty, your lady droogie…I wonder what she tastes like…" he'd said, in a conversational and easy tone of voice. "You would…you would rape her?" Eloise asked him in a breathless voice, filled with disbelief and horror. His smirk was enough for her.

"Katherine"

"Hey gorgeous! I've been missing you like crazy, Alex says you're sick"

"…Katherine I have something to say" _Help me, please help me! Please take me away from this awful place. I miss you so much, I miss our drama class, I miss the gross cafeteria food, I miss passing notes in Geography, I miss you I miss you I miss you._ "Are you alright?" Eloise could feel Alex's warm breath on her neck. "It…was a mistake…our friendship, it was nothing but a mistake…I never want to see you again, you do nothing but hold me back…you're the cause of everything nasty and dangerous..." _I love you so much Katie, you're the most wonderful person in the entire world, you're everything to me and I wish you nothing but happiness. I'm so sorry for hurting you like this, but you don't understand what he'll do to me…to you…_

That had been a week before now, and Eloise could still remember her response. "You know what? Fine, you're a fucking bitch anyway. Why would anyone want to be your friend? You've been acting like a bitch ever since you and Alex got together, what you think you're so fucking cool because you're spreading your legs for him now? You're pathetic. Goodbye Eloise" Eloise had been holding her breath during Katie's tear filled angry response. Her stomach had turned and knotted and she felt as if she would throw up. There was a huge lump in her throat, it was hard to breathe.

She missed Katie so much every day, and felt more and more cut off from the world. She couldn't remember the last time she sang, not even in the shower and the memory of the stage seemed so far away like a forgotten dream. Alex's...behavior, if you will, towards her provided endless confusion for Eloise.

Because Alex's behavior was paradoxical, the same boy who viciously and brutally raped her almost every other day was also the same boy who spent hours helping her study for her Algebra test and then took her out for Spaghetti and meatballs when she came home with an A. The same boy who embarrassed and put her down on a daily basis was also the same boy who held her and comforted her for hours at time while she sobbed over her mother's death.

Something was starting to happen though, even if she didn't realize it. The flame inside of her, the one he'd snuffed out was starting to…ignite again, not a flame yet but something was happening. There'd been a time when she'd never even allowed herself to feel anger towards him, constantly aiming it at herself. She blamed herself for everything, especially the sexual abuse.

Now she found herself able to direct her anger at him, but only in her mind and even over the "small" things; like when he came home complaining about a young malchick who was too stupid to even know who Beethoven was. "Shutup about fucking Beethoven already, you bastard…just shut your damn face, new subject please" she ranted inside of her head, she did admire Beethoven—who didn't. But Alex worshipped him and looked down on those who didn't have a shrine dedicated to Lovely, Lovely Ludwig Van as if they were completely worthless.

It annoyed the hell out of her. She was sort of the same way with Judy Garland, and every now and again she would encounter someone else who loved her and it was great. But she never looked down at other people for not knowing her or not liking her, everyone had their own opinions.

Her heart ached when she thought about her destroyed Judy albums, her heart had shattered each time he broke one. Judy's voice had helped her get through her mom's death during the first week afterwards, the late singer's rendition of "When You're Smiling" enveloping her in a warm embrace. She shuddered to think what Judy thought of her now, she wasn't supposed to be…this. A scared girl trying to survive her boyfriend's (?) cruel and sadistic games…she was supposed to be performing on the stage for her school's annual talent show, she was supposed to be on her way to becoming a star.

_Son of a bitch, I hate you Alex…you goddamn son of a bitch…you've taken everything from me_

Her stomach was hurting again, maybe it was something she ate. Alex was at work, but today she didn't feel like putting on any makeup or the black cocktail dress. She felt sick, and she'd been dry heaving almost all day. A thought came to mind, she usually got her period around this time of the month. But so far nothing, no blood spots on her panties…no sign at all.

Horror washed over her, what if she was…oh Jesus, no…

She knew it was against the rules but she walked out of the house, down the street, to the drug store. She bought a pregnancy test and ignored the cashier's judgmental look. Hurrying home, Eloise took the test and waited, trembling all over, for ten minutes while it worked its magic. And then…

**Positive**

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_**Please Review!**_


	12. And What If?

**Thanks DemonBarber14; I haven't seen the third installment, I'm trying to though **** "IF" and "O Lucky Man" are indeed very, very odd films and sometimes really confusing but…Malcolm was gorgeous as hell *Drool* I've devised a plan to build a time machine out of a toaster and some red vines (sounds legit, right?) so that I may go back to the late 60s early 70s to make out with Malcolm McDowell. ^_^**

**Thanks SkyCord1990, I love getting your reviews!**

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**_12. _And What if?...**

_Ellie's got the same size hands as Marilyn Monroe_

_She put her fingers in the imprints at Graham's Chinese Theater Show_

_She could've been a movie star, never had the chance to go that far_

_Her life was stole, know we'll never ever know…_

_**-Kelly Rowland; Stole (Original Lyric: Mary's got the same…)**_

She was throwing up again, for the second time this hour. Alex would be home soon, and she was trying to figure out how to tell him. Her anxiety was so overwhelming that she honestly couldn't tell if she was vomiting because of it or because of the pregnancy. She supposed it was a sadistic combination of both, she was so angry and heartbroken. Eloise was a naturally nurturing person, one of those people who were great with children and felt as ease with them. She'd always dreamed of children.

Eloise felt her eyes well with tears, her head throbbed in pain. She felt so trapped, abortion? No, she could never, she just couldn't. But if she went through the pregnancy, how could she bring that child into a world of cruelty and abuse? And what about her dreams, she'd had everything in her life planned to a T. She'd graduate high school, go to St. Katherine's Academy of the Arts, move to New York City and star in a record shattering Broadway musical, meet a handsome and intelligent man, become best friends with Liza Minnelli and Patti LuPone, have some beautiful children.

Alright, so maybe Eloise was an intense dreamer; but she'd been _raised_ on dreams. And she was very talented, she was aware that her life would most likely not follow this path she'd carved; but she'd never expected her mother's death or Alex's abuse. And with Katherine gone, with no school, and virtually no parental figures (Alex had acquired enough money to buy an apartment clear on the other side of town, and guess who his roommate was to be? Yes, Ellie) to protect her.

The whole world was against her

Where could she turn to? And this baby inside of her, so innocent…and she killed it, how could she live with the guilt? But if she gave birth, surely Alex would become aggressive towards the child…and even if he didn't, how could she allow her child to witness his or her father beating and raping their mother?

And then the door was opening, he was home

"Why is the door unlocked, darling?" he asked, she was hurrying and setting up the table for dinner. _Please don't throw it in my face again tonight; I tried really hard not to burn the bottom. _"I knew you were coming home, so I unlocked it for you" she said, not meeting his penetrating gaze. "S-So, um…how was your day at work?" she asked, pouring him a drink with shaky hands

His arms wrapped around her waist, "You're hiding something from Uncle Alex, and you're going to start speaking like the truth, right right?" he punctuated the phrase "right, right" by biting down on her shoulder and sucking the skin, drawing a whimper from her. "A-Alex…I actually do need to tell you something…c-can we sit down, please?" she said in a hoarse voice

He smiled and pulled away, sitting down and crossing one leg over the other. Eloise began to tremble as her eyes fell upon his hands, gripping the black cane. _God damn that black cane._ "I'm…I…Alex, I'm…I'm pregnant" she looked at him, and he looked disturbingly calm. She knew by now that it only meant pain for her, and she waited with bated breath as he stood up.

"What's his eemya?"

"…I'm sorry?"

"What. Is. His. Sodding. Name?! Who have you been lubilubing behind my back?!"

He struck her legs with his cane, sending her to the floor with a hard thud and a shriek. "I haven't! please! I promise I haven't done anything, Alex please!" he was tugging on her hair, ripping it from her scalp and her fingers were digging at his; trying to relieve some of the pain. Alex pulled her into a standing position and sent her hurtling into the wall, her jaw bone cracked sickengly as she collided with the hard wall, a line of blood staining it as her nose was broken.

"It's that malenky fucker from your skolliwol, isn't it?! Answer me!" Eloise sobbed and grunted as she tried to drag herself away from him, her whimpers escalated into a scream of pain when he stomped down on her ankle with his "flip horrorshow boots" and shattered the bone, but she kept clawing at the carpet; trying desperately to get away from him. She felt her breath go thick with terror when the all too familiar sound of a zipper being pulled down assaulted her ears.

Alex grabbed her injured ankle, smirking as she screamed, and pulled her towards him. She tried kicking at him with her un-injured leg but he held it down with his own easily. "Alex, don't! You'll h-hurt the baby!" she tried, pushing at him and squirming. He rolled his eyes and stuffed a piece of her torn shirt into her mouth, growling viciously at her "Shut your pretty little mouth and keep those legs spread, or I'll really give you something to creech about, do you pony the slovos coming from my rot? Hmm? Or are you too gloopy?" tears welled in her eyes, tears of anger and humiliation and desperation and fear

Three Hours…that's how long the rape lasted, three hours of hell. She could barely walk afterwards, and her jaw ached from biting down on the fabric as he assaulted her. Eloise hadn't yet opened her heart to the possibility of a child, but she never wanted to lose it in such a violent and awful way. To her, it was still just a baby. Innocent. Just like she'd been, long ago.

As she got ready for bed, Alex was in the shower. She'd only known for a day now that'd she'd been pregnant, and that hardly enough time to decide what she wanted to do. She'd been having this battle all day with herself; she'd ruled out abortion, she just couldn't do that—but what if Alex started abusing the child? What if the child turned into Alex and hurt people? Or what if she wouldn't be a good mom?

How could she be? When she was too weak to protect herself, how could she protect a child?

But she never got a choice, because at around 3 o'clock in the morning; Eloise woke up in excruciating pain. The sheets were stained in blood, and Alex called over a doctor. By 5 o'clock Dr. Jones told her and her "loving" boyfriend that Eloise had suffered a miscarriage.

She never even had a choice.

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**Please Review!**


	13. That Bastard

Thank You **DemonBarber14**; I have seen Caligula. I really loved it, but I didn't care for the pornographic scenes; and neither did Malcolm. I can understand why he personally hates it so much because of that but I still think his performance is brilliant. He is eternally sexy, and even in his older age he still retains an allure that makes me go weak in the knees, But I don't think I'd make out with him XD I absolutely adore him with all of my heart and would give him the biggest freaking bear hug in the history of man kind, it would be letting go of him that would be the hard part LOL

Thank You **SkyCord1990** very much for your support :)

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**13. That Bastard**

"Would you stop sulking? It's getting on my nerves" Alex snarled, taking another bite of his food. Eloise tried her best to appear less depressed and forced herself to smile. "I'm sorry, Alex." She said, staring at her hands in her lap and counting to ten slowly in her mind, and then backwards again.

_Breathe/pretend/hold on_

Two weeks since she'd miscarried, Alex's pee and em were back in town but Alex and Eloise had moved into the apartment the week before and Ellie barely had time to say hello to her caretakers before she was whisked way. The rules were even more severe it seemed, she wasn't allowed to speak without permission, she wasn't allowed to leave the house ever, she wasn't allowed to read or write, when he did he take her out; to the Pasta Parlour, Melodia, the Korova, or the Duke of New York she wasn't permitted to look at anybody else but him, and when she wasn't looking at him—her eyes were to be looking straight at the ground. She wasn't even allowed to order her own food.

Eloise was robotic now, never disobeying or resisting him. She felt utterly powerless and without hope, and had completely shut down. Alex had succeeded in destroying her from the inside out, and the results were heartbreaking to say the least. The memory of her mother didn't even seem real anymore, and she felt as if she'd spent her entire life being controlled and abused by this monster.

Right now they were eating lunch at the Duke of New York, "Alex?" she asked, and he raised an eyebrow at her. "May I please use the restroom?" after a long pause he nodded and she muttered a quick thank you, hurrying to the bathroom. She hurried into a stall and sat down, she'd been lying about having to use the bathroom. She hugged herself tightly and cried silently, after a few minutes she calmed down and hurried back the table.

"Sit on my lap" he ordered, and she obeyed. Wrapping her arm around his neck (choke him, the sick bastard) and kissed his cheek softly. He smiled, rubbing his hand up and down her back…the way he used to back in the old days. Eloise tried her best to be good, but sometimes she'd slip up. She hadn't been feeling that great today, but she ignored it.

Alex had already forced her to take a pregnancy test, which showed up as negative. "Alex, I don't feel good" she finally confessed after a few long moments of silence; in which Alex enjoyed his meal (he'd ordered her the same dish) but she half-heartedly ate hers, only taking a few tiny bites. He slipped his hand under her skirt and pinched her inner thigh so hard it brought fresh tears to her eyes, "I don't remember gorveeting my permission to speak" he pinched harder, drawing a whimper from her.

Eloise felt the bile rise up her throat, and tried to move away but he wouldn't let go of her. "A-Alex please, please! I'm going to be sick!" as punishment for speaking again, he pinched even harder until she actually started bleeding. Eloise vomited, unable to hold it back any longer, Right on him.

She looked up at him, and her filled with tears. She was shaking, violently and felt as if she would physical die from her fear. He glared at her with so much hatred and anger, his eyes turned a darker and more dangerous shade of blue and he was the devil to her. They were in a private booth, cut off from other customers. "You soiled my clothes" he said in an even, monotonous voice. She couldn't speak, her throat was dry and she didn't have the mind to wipe away the stray strands of vomit from her chin.

She looked at him with her pleading, desperate, and terrified expression and finally found the courage a tiny phrase, "…sorry" it was said in a childlike squeak, and she couldn't stop shaking. "Lick it off" but even in her shattered state, Eloise recognized this demand as incredibly inhumane and vicious. And she started struggling to get away from him, as he gripped the back of her head and pushed her face to his vomit covered chest. "Open your grahzny rot and lick it off" he snarled, but he sounded almost happy at the same time; excited.

Her mouth and nose was crushed against him, her vomit snuck its way past her pursued lips and into her nose. "Open your sodding mouth" he growled, banging his cane on the table and making her cry out in terror. It was a big mistake on her part, and she felt the soggy chunks flood back into her mouth. The taste made her so sick that she started gagging, it got in her nose and burned her nasal passages and even into her eyes. It smelled horrible and tasted even worse.

Alex forced her head into her own dish, where she vomited once more.

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_**From: Flowers in the Water; a memoir by Carson James Pg. 113**_

While visiting Eloise in the hospital, I was approached by a young nurse named Daphne. She was visibly worn-out and upset, and she asked me to help with Eloise. I immediately said that I would, of course and followed her to Eloise's room. Eloise had been brought her lunch, and she'd apparently had a vendetta against it. She'd thrown her bowl of mashed potatoes at the wall, knocked her tray over, and threw her soda pop against the wall as well. Broken glass littered the floor, mixed with white masses soaked with coca-cola. I sat beside her bedside, but she wouldn't even look at me.

"Eloise, honey, it's me…Carson." A flicker of recognition crossed her eyes, and she looked at me with a strangely cautious expression. As if she was trying to figure out if I was friend or foe, "Eloise, honey, friends, I won't hurt you promise" I remember feeling a bit foolish for saying this, why would that comfort her? Alex had told her that he loved her, that he would never hurt her and well; we all know how that turned out.

I'd been working close with her psychologists and doctors, her eyes: I remember that they held all the suffering in world. They didn't sparkle like they once had back in those long ago days; she was zombie-like—almost catatonic. But she would throw tantrums, throwing things and screaming. Dr. Joseph Carter told me that she was releasing all the pent up and repressed rage she'd held in for so long, which was healthy and made us all proud.

That is, before we actually taught her how to release that anger in a non-self-harming way. I'd been walking to her room, for a quick hello when I heard the muffled screams. Realizing something was off, I hurried inside. She was scratching her arms violently, drawing blood and ripping the skin. I called for Dr. Carter as I wrestled with her, trying to make her stop. "Ellie, stop, watch me okay?" I acted purely on instinct; grabbing a pillow and banging it on her bed.

"Oh, I'm so mad! I'm so mad!" I shouted, banging it even harder. Once I realized I had her attention I stopped, "See? You don't have to hurt yourself when you're mad" I gave her the pillow, "And if you need to talk to any of us, you know you can."

When she angry, she'd bang her pillows but she'd rarely break anything. "Nurse Daphne told me you haven't been eating for these past few days. Can you tell me why? Do you want me to go get Dr. Carter?" she shook her head no, "Eloise, please tell me?"

She reached over and grabbed a pad and pencil, I watched as she wrote it out slowly, the sentence structure disjointed, and her handwriting—once so feminine and pretty—sloppy.

"…Alex took me to the Duke of New York…I didn't feel good…I told him…tried to get away b-but he wouldn't…he wouldn't let me go and I threw up on him…Alex made me lick it off…"

I took it to Dr. Carter, "Well, it appears that Eloise is so afraid of vomiting and being punished and humiliated that she's resorted to not opening her mouth at all. That combined with the fact that he wouldn't let her speak, that he would beat her with his cane for making the slightest sound without his permission has no doubt caused her to withdraw from vocalizing."

My hands were clenched at my sides, and in my own mind I recalled the time I'd snuck her file to see for myself what my old classmate and friend (and crush) had gone through during that year that she was gone. (We were all under the impression that she'd moved away) when I read about every hurt that Alex had caused; the repeated rapes, the physical abuse, his imprisonment of her; it made my blood boil.

Two days later, I went back only to discover that she still wasn't eating. Dr. Carter suggested I go in and try to help her again, so I took a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs in and smiled at her. She didn't smile back but she no longer looked at me with distrust and caution, now her eyes held an innocent sort of curiosity and wonderment. As if she'd forgotten that there kind people in the world, and was still trying to figure it all out. "Look, I have your favorite food. See? Don't you want some?"

She turned away and pressed her lips tightly together, I tried to push a meatball into her mouth but she kept her lips shut. "Eloise, please, you need to eat. You'll get sick" I grabbed her face in a firm but gentle grip and tried to pry her mouth open, I felt a little bad doing it—especially when she whimpered—but she needed to eat something or she'd get sick. Finally, she opened her lips just barely and I pushed it inside. "You're okay, you're okay, Eloise calm down."

Dr. Carter gestured at me to go to him, I kissed her head and followed him out into the hallway. "She wrote something else today; apparently Alex force fed her, shoved food so violently and so rapidly into her mouth that she would choke. She wasn't given any time to chew her food, and when she'd slobber it out in an attempt to breathe properly, Alex would beat her."

He paused and his eyes filled with tears, this hard and strict doctor of psychology. It was a testament to how horrific Eloise's story was. He'd been warned time and time again to not get too close, never get too close. I remember he confessed to me that Eloise reminded him of his daughter, Holly, who had died of cancer two years prior. I could tell that he loved Eloise, truly.

We all did.

"That bastard, that…fucking bastard" He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head back and forth as if to clear away cobwebs from his mind.

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**Please Review**


	14. Mockingbird Don't Sing

Thank You DemonBarber14, TheWeasleyBoys (Prepare thyself….I **am** "Insert Kick Ass Name Here" *Dramatic Music* I changed my name, obviously haha) bibliophilechild, and SkyCord1990 for your support and wonderful reviews. ^_^ and thank you KatlynAviles for adding this to your favorites.

I'm having a bit of trouble getting Alex's language down, I kind of pushed Clockwork aside for the last year and I fear I've lost touch with the language. There was a time when I could tell you within seconds what a word meant without having to look at a glossary, but now I'm rusty so I apologize if it doesn't flow as well as it should. I'll work on it, because it's bugging me.

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**14. Mockingbird Don't Sing**

_**From Flowers in the Water; a memoir by Carson James pg. 120**_

Eloise was in the psych ward for two months, during that time of course Alexander Burgess was sitting in a courtroom but that is a story for another time. I was sitting in Dr. Carter's office, it'd become a familiar environment. "I've never seen domestic abuse of this severity…" he said, looking over her files. I grunted in agreement, "She was sexually, physically, and psychologically tortured on a daily basis by someone who promised he'd never let anyone hurt her. It's amazing she's lasted this long…I don't think she'll ever truly understand how _strong_ she is"

I grabbed the file and skimmed over the notes he'd written:

_**Day One-Day Four**_

_Eloise was raped, beaten, and eventually imprisoned; completely cut off from society and her family. She's regressed to a somewhat childlike state of mind, note the word "somewhat" Eloise's brain scans and various tests still show an extensive vocabulary, and when she writes to us she uses sentences like; "The snow sparkled like diamonds" instead of a more childish; "the snow was pretty" however, Eloise acts childish in her behavior._

_It's a common coping mechanism, but Eloise has taken it to an extreme. She's soiled her bed almost ten times since she's been here. I, like many others, wondered what on earth was going on. She had a bathroom attached to her room. And when we'd go inside the next morning, she was crying her eyes out and she looked terrified. We performed more tests on her and discovered traces of laxatives, I asked her about it and she wrote to me:_

"_Alex gave her pills that made her tummy hurt, she cried and begged him to let her to the bathroom but Alex wouldn't let her, she couldn't hold it in anymore and made her bed all messy and icky, she was really embarrassed and Alex beat her with the black cane"_

_This, of course, requires a massive amount of analysis. Eloise uses the third person to describe herself, I feel that this is her way of attempting to dissociate herself from the tortures inflicted on her. And no, I do not believe that the word torture is too extreme to use. Alex forced her to take laxatives, which caused severe cramps, he locked her inside of her room so that she couldn't sneak out to use the restroom, and then beat her for soiling herself. I cannot imagine the shame, embarrassment, and terror that this torture has left on her. _

_Every time I see her, my heart breaks._

_Sometimes she draws, and I can hear her humming a familiar tune. After a few days I recognized it as the classic Mockingbird Lullaby, I asked her if someone had sung it to her but she wrote to me that "Eloise can't remember" I pressed her but she ignored me and kept on humming it; never saying the words. After more pressing and talking, Eloise wrote "Nice lady sang to Ellie during scary storms" I asked her, "What did the nice lady look like, honey?" she wrote; "She was really beautiful, like a princess. She's safe, and Ellie didn't have to be afraid of her" I smiled sadly at my patient, "She sounds very lovely. Is the nice lady, your mother Eloise?" something flashed across her eyes, a look of longing and heart ache._

_She wouldn't write anything else after that, but she started singing the words under her breath. _

_**Day Five-Eight**_

_Eloise hurt herself today, it took three orderlies, Carson, and I to stop her before she did anything too severe. Luckily, Carson is teaching her how to release her anger in a more healthy way. Eloise spoke to us for the first time, her knees drawn up to her chest; she looked like a frightened child. Eloise said; "I don't want to be ch…" her voice got so quiet and small we could not understand her, "What did you say, it's okay sweetie, you can tell me" Eloise looked right at me, "I don't want to be chained"_

_My heart skipped a beat. And I could only dumbly repeat, "…chained?"_

_Her eyes glazed over, and she hugged herself. "…like a __**dog**__"_

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Eloise had finished her chores and Alex wouldn't be back from work until later, the phone rang and she answered it. "Hello dear, it's Shelia." Alex's mother chirped, "Hi Mrs. Burgess, how are you?" Eloise said, letting a fake smile sneak into her voice. "I'm doing well, I miss you guys though. Why don't you and Alex come over tomorrow night for dinner? I miss my baby boy, honestly I never see you or Alex anymore and I and Alex's father were both gone for three weeks" Eloise bit back her words before they could escape, "Oh, I know you were"

"I'll talk to Alex about it, I'm sure he'd love to see you guys" Eloise said, and she realized then how much she missed Shelia. Alex and his mother were complete opposites, and it was mind boggling to think that such a vicious, evil person could have such a sweet mother. Eloise and Shelia said good bye, Ellie didn't know what to do with herself; she couldn't go outside and she didn't much care for television.

She'd been forced to leave all of her treasures behind. But she'd snuck her mother's silver locket, she never wore it though; hiding it instead under the mattress of their (yes, their) bed. She lifted the mattress and pulled it out. Stroking the smooth silver with the pads of her fingers, and knowing she was alone she sang quietly to herself; the song her mother sang to her during a thunder storm.

_Hush little baby, don't you cry_

_Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird_

_And if that mockingbird don't sing_

_Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring_

_And if that diamond ring turns brass_

_Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass_

_And if that looking glass gets broke_

_Mama's gonna buy you a Billie Goat_

_And if that Billie Goat won't pull_

_Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull_

_And if that cart and bull turn over_

_Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover_

_And if that dog named Rover won't bark_

_Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart_

_And if that if that horse and cart fall down_

_You'll still be sweetest little baby in town_

Eloise's fingers were still stroking her mother's locket, lovingly. Her eyes were filled to the brim with heavy tears, her stomach twisted and knotted. She lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, the chain of the locket threaded in her fingers. And a sudden, startling rage filled her. She felt as if nobody in the entire world would ever feel as angry as she did now; and she had no idea what do with that anger so she turned it on herself. She pulled her hair, screamed, scratched her arms until the skin ripped, banged her head against the wall and screamed so loud her throat felt as it was ripping apart.

She was so angry, so terrified, and so lost. She was trapped and alone, and there was no one coming to save her. She was alone, alone, _alone_. Eloise couldn't breathe, her heart was racing, she felt weak, she was sweating and it was 60 degrees in the house, she felt an impending sense of doom, she felt like she was losing control, and her chest was burning with pain. And all of this, was happening at once.

Somewhere in her mind, the psychology class she'd taken the year before Mama died came to her aid. Eloise was having a panic attack, and dear God was it horrible. And then it was over, and her body still trembled with the aftershock of her violent and frightening fit.

Alex came home, saw the scratches and pinched her cheek playfully. "It's about time you realized how worthless you are, my darling. Keep it up, but save some flesh for Uncle Alex, right right? Now, It's been a long day, remove your platties and spread that pretty plot on the beddy-wed for like Alexander the Large, yes?" Eloise peeled away her clothes and laid down, opening her legs and staring up at the ceiling.

She felt his body on top of hers, his teeth raking against her throat, heard his growling baritone as he squeezed and pulled and dug his fingernails into her flesh. Tears rolled down her temples and dissolved into her hair, she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to block out the horror, as he forced her already open legs too far apart to be comfortable and held her thighs down; it hurt.

_Hush little baby, don't say a word_

Alex forced his penis inside of her, and she barely managed to hold in a scream. The only sound that escaped as a breathless and tiny sob, he kissed her neck violently; leaving blood stained bite marks. His distinctly male organ filled, stretched, bruised, and just plain hurt her. Every thrust was torture, his pubic hair burned and itched her smooth skin. His hard chest crushed her soft breasts, everything hurt.

_Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird_

And then he stopped, he pulled out and trailed kisses down her body. She sobbed when she felt his warm breath against her tainted innocence; this was another one of his tortures. When he forced her body to turn against her, she hated this almost more than she hated him inside of her. Eloise could not describe the self-loathing and shame that crashed through her insides when he'd roll his tongue over her flesh, and her hips—against her will—would roll against his mouth. While her own cried out, "N-No, no stop it! s-stop it, please" it was so humiliating, and so shameful.

_And if that mocking bird don't sing…_

Alex worked his tongue into her unwilling body even harder, pumping his fingers and smirking as he heard her fighting against the orgasm he knew was building inside of her. That orgasm that brought her so much self-hatred and shame; "Relax, malenky devotchka of mine. Let your like loving big brother here, make you feel horrorshow" Eloise sobbed out, "I don't _want_ you to make me feel horrorshow, I-I want you to leave me alone!" that did nothing but earn her a slap across the face and a growl. She'd cum then, there was no other word to describe it. "Cum" was such a filthy word, and that was exactly how Eloise felt. She'd cum and sobbed at the same time.

_Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring…_

Alex kissed her lips, "It's always real fun, fillying with you little Ellie-girl. I love you so much" Eloise looked at him, her eyes filled with tears "…then why? Why are you…so h-hell bent on making my life miserable?" he raised his eyebrow at her, "is that a _tone_ in your goloss, little devotchka?" Ellie's eyes widened, "No, Alex. I spoke out of turn, I-I'm sorry"

_And if that diamond ring turns brass…_

"Bad devotchkas like you must be punished, right right?" Eloise whimpered, she knew exactly what he was planning. He'd done it once before, (it took her an three hours before she broke) and she did not want to experience it again. "P-Please Alex…please…." She begged, shaking in her terror. Ten minutes later, she was chained up like a dog in the spare bedroom. She was curled up in a fetal position, hugging herself tightly and crying silently. She didn't hear the doorbell ring.

_Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass…_

"Mum, dad! What are you doing here?" Alex's charming voice filled the air, "We wanted to surprise you son. Where's Eloise?" Alex said something that Ellie couldn't hear, and then "And who is this here?"

"Carson James, it's a pleasure to meet you. My mom and I are helping keep your parent's house clean, you mother talks about you and Ellie all the time. Ellie and I were supposed to do a science project together but, she's too sick I guess. It's a shame, is she feeling any better?"

"She's a little bit better, I worry for her of course. How would you all like a tour?"

_And if that looking glass gets broke…_

"Do you mind if I use the bathroom? It's been a long drive"

"But of course, brother, it's just down the hall there"

Carson turned the corner and disappeared, something was eating at him. He felt drawn to a closed door, it was probably just Alex's bedroom or a storage closet or something. But he felt compelled to open up and see inside, so he did. Carson opened the door and saw Eloise chained and bruised and trembling.

Carson could hear Alex laughing in the living room, the monster unaware that Carson had uncovered his secret. Without thinking about it, Carson stormed over—filled with unimaginable rage—and punched Alex square in the face. It felt _damn_ good.

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	15. The Final Chapter

Thank You DemonBarber14, ElektraMackenzie, TheWeasleyBoys, Guest , and pat4pat

**15. The Final Chapter**

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_**From "Mockingbird: The Life & Death of Eloise Cambridge" Hosted by Thomas Greyson**_

_**Originally aired on CWSN; Disturbing Content-Viewer Discretion Advised.**_

_**TG: **_At the age of seventeen, Alexander Burgess was sentenced to fourteen years for the accidental murdering of an elderly woman named Joan Meyer. But this young sociopath was only locked away for two years, at the age of nineteen; he was picked to be the guinea pig in a Government experiment known as the "Ludovico Technique" the experiment—which we'll discuss in detail later—was successful but had horrible consequences. It stripped Alex of his humanity, his choice of will.

Four months after he was released, Alex attempted suicide. The Government was blamed and criticized for their inhumane methods and paid him nearly 30,000 pounds to stay on their side. For the next few years he laid low, never getting in trouble. As far as we know of course, then at the age of twenty three a guest came to live with him and his family. Her name was Eloise Cambridge.

The crimes inflicted on this young woman are heartbreaking and extremely disturbing. For months, Eloise was the victim of unspeakable abuse at the hands of Alexander Burgess. When she was rescued by a classmate and taken to the psych ward, Eloise's mind had already shattered beyond repair. This young woman had been dominated, tortured, and abused on a daily basis by someone who she loved and whom she thought loved her back.

Tonight, we talk about Eloise and encourage you to read Carson James' new memoir; "Flowers in the Water: The Tragic story of Eloise" and now, please welcome the author himself.

[Thomas and Carson shake hands and sit down]

How long did you know Eloise before you found out about the abuse?

**CJ**: I'd only known her for a few weeks; she was my partner in Chemistry class.

**TG**: Can you describe her, what was she like?

**CJ**: She was very pretty but I can't say what her personality was like, I barely knew her

**TG**: And you still felt the need to stay by her side? That's very noble

**CJ**: I don't think so; I think it was my duty as a human being. When I wrote Flowers in the Water, I went through her diaries and, of course, through the medical files.

**TG**: Can you summarize what the book is essentially about?

**CJ**: Well, when I wrote it I wanted people to realize what had truly happened to Eloise, and the effect it had on her. I wanted people to see how the abuse changed her, and I wanted people to realize that there are still girls like Eloise out there and we need to reach out to them. We did remove Ellie from that environment but it was far too late…the book is about watching a human being dying from the inside out and not being to stop it or even slow it down, but you stay because you don't want them to die alone. I mean, she was alone for so long—how could I leave her? Even if I knew that it would hurt me to stay? I just couldn't do that to her.

**TG:** You are truly an admirable young man, and I hope many take a valuable lesson of kindness and compassion from what you did. [Looks at camera] Carson was kind enough to bring in a tape of Eloise at a talent show a month prior to her mother's death. Afterwards we will show a short clip of Eloise at one of her therapy sessions, we'd like you to see for yourself the contrast.

[Eloise is walking out onto a school stage, smiling nervously and wearing a baby pink dress with white lace and pearls. Her hair is curled into ringlets; the audience falls silent as she begins. Eloise sings "Glitter and be Gay" a comedic song, soon the audience is laughing and cheering her as she plays the part of a spoiled rich girl brilliantly. By the end the audience is on their feet]

**TG**: I still can't get over how talented she was, and not only that but she wasn't only singing up there. She was acting and dancing. It was brilliant, it really was.

**CJ**: Yes it was, she could have been famous…legendary even.

**TG**: And now the therapy sessions

[Eloise is wearing white hospital scrubs, her hair is tangled and unwashed. She's staring at the floor and visibly trembling. A voice off screen; 'And then what did he do, honey?' Eloise blinks rapidly and her expression becomes terrified. She fidgets in her chair and starts to whimper. Her breathing becomes ragged and forced, 'It's okay to remember it' the therapist says. Eloise's face goes blank for a few long moments, and then she starts screaming and clawing at nobody as trying to fight somebody off 'No, let me go please! Please don't hurt me! Alex please, please I won't tell! I won't tell, I promise!' 'What is he doing Eloise? What is he doing?' 'Please don't! Don't put it inside me, don't! Please Alex, oh please!]

**TG**: I don't even…I've been doing this show for twenty years and I've never felt so sick and sorry. How on earth did she survive months of such torture? And during that time, what must she have thought? How did she get through each day?

**CJ**: I wonder the same thing every day.

**TG**: How did she die?

**CJ:** She…lost the will to live, it was just too much stress…too much trauma and she couldn't take it.

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_**The Mockingbird Still Sings: A Musical Tribute to Eloise Cambridge**_

Featuring Heaven Seventeen, Johnny Zhivago, The Aprils, Sophia Max, Catherine J. Perks, Flowers of August, Luna Bella, and Katherine Lopez.

Opening Monologue [Katherine Lopez]: Tonight we honor the memory of Eloise Cambridge…a young woman who suffered unspeakable tortures of the body and mind at the hands of a monster…a monster who disguised himself as a human being, someone she loved and trusted. Eloise was the most beautiful person you could hope to meet, inside and out. She loved life, she loved people, she loved to sing and dance and eat ice cream. She was my best friend, and I miss her every single day.

I'd like to start off the evening with Eloise's favorite song. Eloise, baby, this is for you.

_Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter_

_Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter_

_Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade_

_Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to_

_If someone takes a spill it's me and not you_

_Who told you're allowed to rain on my parade?_

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Alex sat watching the television with a bored expression; he was twenty-seven years old now. He wouldn't be released until he was forty-three years old, and he wasn't very happy about it. It was all that fucker Carson's fault, Alex spent his days with a punching bag. Sometimes pretending it was Carson and other times that little bitch's pretty face. He really, really missed having the in-out with her real savage, he missed her cries for mercy and the terror in her pretty eyes, he missed the sound of her suffering, falling apart, giving up. He watched tv shows about her, saw the concerts dedicated in her honor and smirked at it all, they talked as if he'd done something evil.

All he'd done was show the bitch where she belonged. Underneath him, in every manner of the word; Alex had managed to smuggle one of her panties with him, they did not allow him the privilege of music but it was already in his mind. He pressed it against his mouth and nose and exhaled deeply, behind his closed eyes he could see her under his body, naked and screaming, tears leaking from her eyes.

When he was finished, he hid the underwear. He mulled over the news he'd heard that day, Carson James and Katherine Lopez were getting married, how fucking sweet.

And so it was, three months later they were a happy couple.

A year into their marriage, the news of Katherine's pregnancy was heard. Alex was twenty-eight years old, and his anger was circulating through him like a violent storm. He got stronger and more cunning, and he blamed his incarceration entirely on Carson James. He hated prison, who didn't? And he swore revenge. He was given an extra ten years for the attempted rape of a female visitor of another prisoner, this woman was twenty years old and had the same color hair as Eloise.

Ophelia Eloise-Marie James was born; Alex was twenty-nine years old.

At age thirty-one, Alex escaped the staja and changed his name to hide his identity. He had found his target, he wanted to inflict horrific pain on the bastard who put him in jail and what better way than to take his little girl? And so it was, two year old Ophelia went missing—today would have been her sixth birthday. Her parents have searched and searched but to no avail.

And then, the bones of a small child were discovered buried in an abandoned wheat field. Doctors identified the remains as belonging to Ophelia; the child of only two was beaten severely enough to shatter bones, burned with cigarettes, stabbed repeatedly, and buried alive (cause of death) Alex hasn't been found since.

A warning still hangs on every street corner of London, "CAUTION: EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, DO NOT APPROACH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" and the warnings multiply when more bodies show up. Eloise holds hands with her mother in Heaven and whispers their names.

Ophelia, 2

Rachel, 20

Sarah, 13

Katie, 7

Lola, 16

Maureen, 9

April, 16

Alex stumbles into a cemetery. He smirks at the tombstone that reads Eloise's name, "Fancy seeing you here, Ellie-Girl. I hope you're not like jealous, right right? She didn't scream nearly as pretty as you used to, love. This…is your fault you know, I can't get you out of my head you little bitch! I don't care if you're alive or dead, you'll always belong to me. Always...heh, I wish you were here, love, so I could give you a nice backhand. You deserve it, that you do"

Alex starts to dig a new hole on near Eloise's grave, a burlap sack stained with blood sits to the left of him. His latest victim, an hour later he dumps it and buries it. "Have fun you two" he sneers before heading back to his car. A young woman with blonde hair starts coming up the hill, he ignores her at first but when she passes by…she smells like _vanilla_.

Eloise smelled like vanilla…

"Excuse me, love, could you help me? I'm new to the area and I'm trying to find…"

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**THE END**

**Thanks for reading and supporting **


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